Patricia Evans (1)

Summary:
If you or someone you know answers "yes" to one or more of the following questions, this book is required reading: a) Does your partner seem irritated or angry at you several times a week? -- b) Does he deny being angry when he clearly is? -- c) Do your attempts to discuss feelings of pain or emotional distress leave you with the feeling that the issue has not been resolved? d) Do you frequently feel perplexed and frustrated by his responses, as though you were each speaking a different language?

In this book, you'll find validation and understanding -- "it not all in your head"--And encouragement for your efforts to change the situation. In this second edition, Patricia explores the damaging effects of verbal abuse on children and the family, and offers valuable insight and recommendations to therapists, as well as those who seek therapeutic support.

Contents:
Evaluating your own experience -- Two kinds of power: a broad perspective -- Personal power: a look at reality II -- The abuser and the abusive relationship: a look at reality I -- The consequences of verbal abuse -- The partner's feelings -- Obstacles and indicators -- Characteristics and categories of verbal abuse -- The anger addict -- Conditioning and the partner -- The recognition of verbal abuse and asking for change -- Responding with impact to verbal abuse -- Recovery -- Looking back -- The underlying dynamics: some reasons why -- About therapy -- and for the therapist -- Children and verbal abuse -- Frequently asked questions.… (més)

I liked the first sections of the book but believe the author went beyond her experise toward the end of the book. Patricia makes some excellent points about mental expectations of others and the impact of this on efforts to control others. She takes the concepts to their logical extremes in cases of violence, war, hate groups, and bigotism. Unfortunately, Patricia appears to have had an improportionate number of males who are controlling of their wives in her practice. This seems to bias her opinions. Additionally, Patricia appears to have a quasi-spiritual emphasis in her ending chapters, which is her opinion and has little scientific or logical basis. The book has some valuable concepts but you are forced to listen to some of her irrational concepts as well.… (més)