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Ressenyes

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Ressenya escrita per a Crítics Matiners de LibraryThing .
I got this book as an Early Reviewer for Library Thing.
The first thing I want to say is that this is a very Christian faith based book looking at how to use faith in God to help with your attachment style troubles. However, the title and description of the book didn't make it clear that it was going to be faith based at all. Looking at the author bio, I can see that's her area, but I don't typically look at author bio before I read something, so I felt like this was a little misleading.
I did appreciate how the attachment styles were labeled to be more descriptive of what the person is like (Security Guard vs. avoidant attachment style). I requested this book because it's a topic I've been seeing more of lately, and I wanted to learn more. I do like how the styles were explained, but I find the four attachment style method to be overly simplistic, making it harder to identify what work you might need to do for yourself.
I also think the reasoning with caregivers may be focusing too much on early childhood. In my own personal life, I know a number of people who had great caregivers, but then had other problematic relationships later in life, that cause them to turn to some of these attachment styles. But, the focus again on childhood makes it a little harder to identify where you might fall if the unhealthy relationship wasn't in early childhood.
Some of the advice I found to be insightful (as a non-Christian), but other advice felt very much like I should trust God and that would solve my problems. Again, I'm not the audience for this book, so that's just my view on it as someone on the outside.
 
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librarianwords | Hi ha 5 ressenyes més | May 3, 2024 |
Ressenya escrita per a Crítics Matiners de LibraryThing .
Great start for someone looking into the four attachment styles . Gives great examples. However , I feel like the market is heavily saturated on this topic and not sure if this book in particular brings anything groundbreaking to the table that others don’t.
 
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katewillett | Hi ha 5 ressenyes més | Feb 28, 2024 |
Ressenya escrita per a Crítics Matiners de LibraryThing .
Unfortunately I did not super love this book. You might like it if you are looking for a Christian based book on attachment, or if you just want to read everything you can get your hands on regarding attachment. It is well written and easy to read and understand. I personally really like Stan Tatkin's Wired for Love on attachment; he also uses metaphors to explain the styles, but I just resonate a lot more with his wave/anchor/island metaphors than with Kuhnley's work metaphors (firefighter, security guard, etc). It's most likely just a personal preference. Also, it is really my pet peeve to discover a book is really really Christian in nature when that is not obvious from the start. You can discern this if you read the author's bio or happen to know that publisher is Christian, but I don't think the average person passing by a table in Barnes and Noble would know this is Christian until they start reading it.
 
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psychomamma | Hi ha 5 ressenyes més | Feb 13, 2024 |
Ressenya escrita per a Crítics Matiners de LibraryThing .
Interesting read on attachment styles in relationships. I am an investigator and my husband a security guard, so I would have liked ideas to help specifically work on our interpersonal relationship through those, but I found good tips and felt like I better understood his and my personal bent. It did help me see what he is the way he is and have empathy bs frustration.
 
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marks4randolphs | Hi ha 5 ressenyes més | Feb 12, 2024 |
Ressenya escrita per a Crítics Matiners de LibraryThing .
Enjoyable and useful read for someone who is keen on learning the basics of attachment styles. Very easy to understand - the author makes it very practical. The book includes a short test. There is a bit of a religious bent which is fine for me but may not necessarily appeal to non-believers or non-Christians.
 
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Dom123 | Hi ha 5 ressenyes més | Feb 3, 2024 |
Ressenya escrita per a Crítics Matiners de LibraryThing .
The author utilizes her Christian faith to form the basis for much of the book, quoting many Christian Bible passages throughout. This religious focus wasn't mentioned in the description. However, it is an important item to note for those to whom Christian-centric messaging would factor into the decision to select or not select a book.
 
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sskasser | Hi ha 5 ressenyes més | Jan 23, 2024 |
I found this book to be intriguing, insightful, and had a depth to it the movie Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood starring Tom Hanks did not have time to dig into. I was fascinated to learn about Mister Rogers and the compassion he had for people. I had not known about Mister Rogers growing up. I was thankful for youtube and the many videos I was able to watch which were mentioned in the book. For example, there was the time Mister Rogers was advocating for public television, addressing Senator Pastore, and talking about how to address anger?"

He said, "They have no one to teach them how to regulate their emotions, so they turn to violence. When they get angry, they fight." As kids, they likely longed for an escape from the violence, for someone to rescue them from people who did not know what to do with their anger – until they, too, adopted their parents' ways for lack of an alternative."

Mister Rogers was a Presbyterian minister and earned a degree in music composition, he wrote 200 songs for the show, including the theme song, "Won't you be my neighbor?" I was captivated by this insightful, compassionate man who walked out what he believed, love God Love your Neighbor. He respected and cared for people, asking them "Would you like to tell me about this? Urged them to share whatever was on their heart." He was a soft-spoken man who paid attention, he was amazed by things and how they worked. He loved sharing that with children. The author says, "Mr. Rogers spoke to the neglected inside all of us – the part of us that believes we need to work hard to earn any inkling of love in this world, that believes, "just maybe if I can work hard enough, produce enough, or be good enough at something then someone will love me."

His song, "It's You I Like," is a radical message of acceptance and care, and he sang it often, sometimes personalizing the lyrics. When he appeared with comedian Joan Rivers, he improvised the words to match her personality. "It's you I like, it's not your jokes." And for a young Jeffrey Erlanger, who used a wheelchair, he threw in, "It's not your fancy chair."…Each appeared awestruck for a moment, shocked with such surprise and wonder that they didn't know what to do.

Each chapter title featured a concept – First Secret – Listen First
The chapters started with a quote liked this one, "We speak with more than our mouths. We listen with more than our ears."
Fred Rogers, Life's Journeys According to Mr Rogers

…"This book explores seven of the keys that emerged as themes throughout Fred Roger's work. Listen first, Validate Feelings, Pause and Think, Show Gratitude, Develop Empathy, Practice Acceptance, Establish Security."

Each Chapter had Summary bullet points. Then at the end of the chapter there was a section "A Concept to Contemplate"

…Mr Rogers invited us to be who we are; he invited us to be our best selves with his unwavering gaze on what was good in everyone he met. His lessons continue to beckon us to take a peek at our neighbors through this lens of kindness and let the darkness disappear into a flash of light."

Mister Rogers Offered the Hope of a Different World. I highly recommend this book to everyone. It's an encouraging, hopeful book.

Disclosure of Material Connection: I received a complimentary copy of this book from the publisher. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission's 16 CFR, Part 255 "Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising"

Nora St. Laurent
TBCN Where Book Fun Begins!
The Book Club Network blog www.bookfun.org
 
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norastlaurent | Nov 11, 2020 |
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