Cynthia Orange

This is a book for single mothers about how to cope, finances, love etc. It "brings equal parts information and inspiration to this pragmatic yet soulful guide for single moms. Managing time and money, juggling the demands of work and child care, balancing personal needs with parenting responsibilities-these are the everyday concerns Orange addresses with preach-free common sense and welcome candor. Interwoven with firsthand stories and experiences, Sing Your Own Song resonates with affirmation and support for single moms everywhere. "

Some things have changed in my life, and I'm not single but we haven't reached the point where I'm not a single-mother though either. It's changing, and bit by bit my boyfriend is stepping into a parental role, but we aren't rushing it. So reading this book gave me some mixed feelings, it was and it wasn't appropriate for my life stage. At least that is how I felt until I read it. There was a lot of great advice about how to parent. That family isn't defined by anyone besides those who are in it. That the relationship that I have with my best friend across the country, my best friend down the street, my boyfriend and my parents are all part of the definition that makes up "My Family" and that makes up the definition of family for my children. That I have created a community, without realizing it, I have a strong support system for myself and my children. That I take the time to take care of myself, that it isn't really taking away from my children as allowing me to be whole and that gives them more than running myself down ever could.

It wasn't until part 5, Raising Reslient Children, that I started to feel like the book was reaching out to me instating of just re-affirming my actions. "It is not our job to protect our children from life. It is our job to ready them to meet life's challenges with grace and confidence so they can discover how they might turn the challenges into opportunities." I have always felt this way, but I hadn't been able to state in so cohesively before. This section spoke to me, and gave some great tips about listening and how to really prepare my children in 10 years to fly the nest.

I felt that this was a good book, I think that if I had read it a year ago I would have found it more helpful and probably have given it a 4 or a 5 star rating. But it was more of a confirmation that I was on the right track, rather than assistance to get where I already am.… (més)

In the United States, about 60 percent of men and 50 percent of women experience, witness, or are affected by a traumatic event in their lifetimes. Many of them (8 percent of men and 20 percent of women) may develop post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD)-a life-altering anxiety disorder. Once connected mainly with veterans of war, PTSD is now being diagnosed in many situations that cause extreme trauma such as rape, physical attacks or abuse, accidents, terrorist incidents, or natural disasters.
What is not reflected in those statistics are the millions of family and friends who also suffer from the shock wave effects of a loved one's trauma. Feelings-for both trauma survivors and those who love them-can become intense and unpredictable. It is normal to experience fear, anxiety, depression, and a sense of helplessness, but help is available.
Shock Waves is a practical, user-friendly guide for those who love someone whose life has been changed by trauma, whether or not that person has been diagnosed with PTSD. Throughout its pages are the voices of trauma survivors and those affected by a loved one's trauma.
Through her own personal experience, extensive research, advice from mental health professionals, and interviews, Cynthia Orange shows readers how to: identify what PTSD symptoms look like in “real life” respond to substance abuse and other co-occurring disorders Manage their reactions to a loved one's PTSD Cope with feelings of grief and loss Find effective professional help Prevent their children from experiencing secondary trauma Practice ongoing care for themselves and other family members

Each section of “Shock Waves” includes questions and exercises to help readers incorporate the book's lessons into their daily lives and interactions with their traumatized loved ones.… (més)