Nancy Spain (1917–1964)

The ex-revue star Miriam Birdseye and her friend, Russian dancer Natasha DuVivian nee Nevkorina, are drawn into a local Christmas panto when the lead Prince Charming falls to her death through a trapdoor in the stage floor; but there seems to be no end to the people who wanted her dead, and hers is only the first in a string of deaths related to the theater - can Miriam and Natasha solve the crime before any more people die?.... I’ve been enjoying Elly Griffiths’ Magic Men series, initially set in the music-hall world of 1950s England, so when she cited this book as an influence, I was pleased to find it still in print (in e-book form anyway). This is a comic mystery, if you will, full of absurd characters and wholly hilarious lines; and, having been written in 1950 or so, there’s a lot of information about that particular time and place, up to and including ration books of coupons for everything from foodstuffs to clothing and the black market in those books. I believe this is the fifth in a series featuring Miriam and Natasha, and hope to be able to find the earlier books as they are very entertaining characters! Ms. Spain being a gay woman at a time when such people were barely considered possible, there are sly quips about lesbianism, for example, a girls’ school called Radcliff Hall (the name of a very famous gay woman writer of that time, with a slight spelling change, whose book The Well of Loneliness is a classic of its kind, albeit a very very depressing one), and the English pantomime tradition of having men play female characters and vice versa is milked for all it’s worth; very funny, and definitely recommended!… (més)

101/2021. Poison for Teacher, by Nancy Spain, is a 1949 camp comedy, murder mystery, girl's school novel with an lgb(t) bent, mostly l tbh. This is technically the fifth book in a loose series of nine but it works as a standalone. The protagonist is a retired "Russian" ballerina who has recently left her husband to move in with her female friend (which isn't explored as they immediately go adventuring - although we are shown that she leaves one person who dislikes her pekinese dog for another who behaves the same way but is a different sex). Her side-kick is a revue actress turned detective, based on real life star Hermione Gingold at her own request as, according to the author, she literally asked Spain to "Send me up as far as you like, but I do so want to be in a book...". They are employed as fake teachers at a girls' boarding school full of femmes who are potentially fatal but not at all fatale. Spain's writing style is the same as her performing style: a rapid succession of humour, clues, and red herrings. If you don't get one joke or clue then don't worry because several more will arrive almost immediately.

Camp comedy rarely ages well. It was originally people pushing at boundaries and trying to expand them through the medium of unthreatening humour, but now it's a reminder of those boundaries, so humour that was aimed to be progressive now seems retrogressive. Some people are still too culturally distant to understand even the most obvious outer layers of implications, or at least want to be seen that way: innocent of any understanding of homosexual contexts and subtexts (which are often also labelled as vulgarly sexualised). Some people get the more overt contextual jokes but not the subtextual layers, or again they do get them but don't want to be seen to be in the in-group who understand. For example, on pages 8-9 there are a series of lesbian in-jokes of varying complexity: a major character, Miss Lipscoomb, introduces herself as school mistress at Radcliff Hall School for Girls in Brunton-on-Sea by giving our heroines her card. This is a fairly obvious contextual joke about Radclyffe Hall the lesbian (and/or transgender) author. However, there is also a subtle implication, partly conveyed through the use of italics, that our theatrical heroines (who can be presumed to be aware of the contents of Soho phone boxes) think the "school mistress" is actually a (sapphic-themed) professional dominatrix. And as soon as they've established it's "a real school?" there's an unsubtle joke about the school mistress' partner Miss bbirch (sic) having just left her, which works whether read as "a real school" or otherwise. The Radclyffe Hall joke was, in 1949, sailing very close to the wind, while the dominatrix joke would have sailed so far over most readers' heads that I'm reluctant to admit I got it because it implies I see (lesbian) sexual implications where (to most readers) they don't exist. It's not only a deniable in-joke for the few, it's also one we're supposed to keep to ourselves and not share with outsiders. If you didn't grow up with boundary-pushing English camp comedy then a lot of the humour in Poison for Teacher will probably be opaque from your perspective, and even if you get the subtext it's subtle and aimed specifically at Nancy Spain's own socio-economic in-group in London in the late 1940s. There are plenty of other lines I assume are supposed to be meaningful but that go well over my head as I'm too young and an outsider to the social groups at which this novel is aimed. Of course it also helps if you've seen and heard both Nancy Spain's and Hermione Gingold's performances.

Anyway, this is either a novel that will make you laugh aloud at the in-jokes, or you'll think it's too "gay" for conservative comfort, or it's too closeted for contemporary progressives. Because porridge stirrers can only please Goldilocks about one third of the time. I personally especially enjoyed the fact that the stock policeman was quietly efficient, while our heroine detectives were often oblivious and messy: evidence versus intuition with evidence proving a clear winner, lol. I don't usually read murder mysteries so I can't judge how effective Poison for Teacher is except as a parody which it does well, especially sending up the supposed knee-jerk reactions of "average" 1940s murder mystery readers. I don't want to give anything away but I personally guessed whodunnit by, let's choose a round number, page 100 of 280, partly because of clues in the book but also because I understood enough of the in-jokes and subtext to predict where the story was heading. I would also think that most 21st century readers won't have that advantage but should guess whodunnit before it's confirmed in the text.

3.5*

Warnings for: basic descriptions of murder, unlikable protagonists with unpleasant opinions about almost everything (note that they are clearly intended as anti-heroines and Poison for Teacher is a parody of the murder mystery genre and don't assume the author shared any particular knee-jerk prejudices, especially not until you've finished the book and considered the implications), reactionary high camp depictions of homosexuals, racism (no slurs or stereotypes beyond the physically descriptive), anti-semitism (no slurs or stereotypes beyond the physically descriptive), jokes about Conservatives (with a large C) of the type that old school Conservatives told about themselves, and more in-jokes than many readers can tolerate. On the plus side, considerably less misogyny than the period, genre, and setting usually incorporates.

Quotes

My favourite running joke is the lady-doth-protest-too-much emphasis that Radcliff Hall School for Girls is not Roedean and is named after the famous red cliffs of Sussex and not anything, or anyone, else.

My favourite one-liner: "Gwen Soames screamed. Maud Stuckenheimer used a dreadful word that she must have picked up in the holidays"

Evergreen: "They were Conservatives, although Mrs. Micah (who was 35) was a Young Conservative."

The weather as red herring: "There was already a small clue to Spring in the air."

Admirable: "He outpointed St. Anthony on straight detective work."

A gay attitude: "The Chomondeley Club." / "Pronounced Beefeater."

Our heroines in the school dining hall before their first meal:
"Roger Partick-Thistle," said Miriam. "This is Mrs DuVivien."
"We are old friends," said Roger. "We met in Schizo-Frenia."
Natasha remembered him and his friend Morris only too well.
"I am to teach these limbs of Belial English verse and how to speak it," said Miriam.
"Do you know any?" said Roger, and giggled.
"I know Caviare comes from the Virgin Sturgeon," said Miriam severely. "What are you doing here?"
"Miss Lipscoomb is my aunt, actually," said Roger, bridling. "But as a matter of fact, dear, I don't spend my whole life in your dressing-room. I'm the visiting music-master. I teach the organ."
And Roger leered.
At this moment, with a terrible clattering of feet, chairs, tables, knives, cups, swords, and wands, the whole of East House crashed into the dining-room through one door and the whole of the staff of Radcliff Hall through the other.… (més)

The enthusiasm of others is really very infectious isn’t it? So when I read Simon’s and Karen’s reviews of Nancy Spain novels – someone I had not previously heard – I just had to totter off and see for myself.
Nancy Spain herself seems to have been quite a colourful character; a journalist and broadcaster who died in a plane crash in 1964. I can’t help but be entertained by the fact that Nancy Spain’s brand of column writing for the Daily Express caused it to be sued twice by Evelyn Waugh.

I enjoyed Nancy Spain’s dry ironic wit, there is definitely less detection in the sleuthing of the marvellous Miriam Birdseye – and more character exploration and quite a lot of teasing of the reader. A little look at some other things about Nancy Spain reveals that I might have done better to start with the first Miriam Birdseye book Poison for Teacher. For in Not wanted on Voyage Miriam’s sometime partner is Natasha Nevkorina former ballet dancer, and now Lady Shelly married to Sir Timothy Shelly. Some web sites I consulted referred to Natasha – as Natasha DuViven and makes mention of a Johnny DuVivien who doesn’t appear in this novel – oh dear I need to go back to the start. I always assume with vintage crime fiction that it doesn’t matter what order you read them. In a sense it doesn’t matter – I only confused myself by going off and researching Nancy Spain while I was reading – note to self – don’t do that! Anyway – I did enjoy Not Wanted on Voyage – and am now ripe for more.

“Poor Douglass Comett’s anxiety came out, bit by bit, over tea. His story was unusual and exotic, and its dangerous detail sounded extremely odd in Douglass’s mouth, where butter (one might have thought) did not often melt. But it melted now as she sat sideways on Miriam’s Victorian sofa, munching muffins, anxiously wiping his chin with his handkerchief, gulping his tea and pouring out his story in short sharp bursts. He was like a child who has held back a guilty confidence long enough.”

As the novel opens Douglass Comett arrives at 44P Baker Street (yes Baker Street) to consult Miriam Birdseye, he finds Miriam with her friend Frederick Pyke – a truly terrible poet – and proceeds to tell them both his troubles. Comett is the English director of the Dutch and English Comet Line – that run pleasure cruises to the Mediterranean. Heroin is being smuggled into England and it appears that the Comet is being used to traffic the drugs. Douglass Comet arranges for Miriam and Pyke to travel aboard the Comet – allowing them to escape an English January, while solving the problem that Comett fears will threaten his business.
So Miriam and Pyke are soon aboard the Comet along with Douglass Comett – his awful wife Hero, and their strange daughter June, her nanny and a host of other improbably named characters. Natasha and her husband Sir Timothy are also on the passenger list, as are historical author Gordon Furbank and his wife Zitha a couple who have a seemingly odd connection to the Cometts. The story line surround the Furbanks and Cometts is particularly interesting in light of something I read on dear old Wikipedia today – I can’t say any more – spoilers!

Never fear, if you like your murders – there are plenty here. The first occurring before the ship has even sailed, at Waterloo as the boat train pulls in – Hero Cometts mother, bringing seasickness pills to her daughter, is pushed under the train. Oblivious to the death that has already occurred and the one that is soon to follow; Miriam and Pyke content themselves with reading Elizabeth Bowen and Colette and settling into their cabins. There is a good deal of nastiness to be dealt with, and Miriam has her sharp eye on everything – although as I said she doesn’t do much actual detecting – things just kind of come together. Darling Natasha, as she is not infrequently referred to – is very very lovely – we are told this rather a lot – and poor Pyke becomes rather infatuated and throws himself tragically on his bunk to write really terrible poetry to her. Natasha is not just a pretty face though, and is prone to the odd out of the blue eureka! moment which helps things along nicely.

“ ’Hello,’ said Miriam. ‘I can’t sleep.’
‘Neither can I,’ said the murderer.
‘It is our consciences,’ said Miriam, pleasantly, ‘that will not let us sleep. They are never at rest. And even if we were to sleep we should dream. They would create for us that other world where personal images are thrown distorted, poor darlings, until we cannot even recognise our dearest friends. Lovely lovely sex, for example. Of which I am so fond. In one of my dreams recently sex appeared in a straw hat’
‘I see you read Freud,’ said the murderer sourly. “

There is something slightly irreverent and definitely un-orthodox about this crime story considering its time. Nancy Spain’s writing is full of humour and there are some nicely eccentric characters, whose voices are utterly bonkers and therefore strangely real. Nancy Spain must have had a good ear for the peculiar idioms of speech of the people she knew who included Noel Coward; some of the dialogue is really daft. I found Miriam and Natasha to be characters I can’t help but be entertained by and in my head at least, Miriam Birdseye is a dead ringer for Nancy Spain herself.… (més)