Freakishly Bad Sex Scenes

Okay, how many of you have run across absolutely horrible sex scenes in lesbian novels? I've read my share, lemme tell ya.

For example, one writer compared a woman's breast/nipple to a lamb's nose poking through the slats of a fence.

Another writer had one character exploring the "cavernous depths" of her lover's vagina. (Sapphic spelunking?)

Hmmm.

I'm new to the lesbian world of fiction and haven't come around any that have disagreed with me but the ones you mentioned are really disturbing. Thanks for that, really.

There are several truly hideous ones in The Collector's Edition of Victorian Lesbian Erotica, a book I bought chiefly because I thought it was so outrageously bad when I scanned through it in the bookstore. Whenever I need a laugh, I pull it out and flip to a random page. And unless I'm mistaken, there's some question whether its contents are actually Victorian at all!

Last week one of my (hetero) girl friends and I had a really long laugh over the first story in the book. I forget all of the truly terrible phrases, but "...as she again gushed forth her womanly love cream" has certainly stuck with me.

I mean, c'mon...

Saroz perhaps she was referring to the first recorded female ejaculation! lol

First of MANY, you mean, according to that story. :::shudders:::

hmmm interesting. i did not know lesbian sex could be bad!

:)

Gotta Kindle? Help me out!

I'm a hetero author who wrote a historical novel (right now only available on Amazon Kindle) in which the real-life lesbian Surrealist artists and Resistance propagandists Claude Cahun and Marcel Moore figure prominently. I put one sex scene in with them; I just kinda thought of sex without a penis. Let me know if it reads OK before I finish self-publishing my paperback! Cahun and Moore are two women who should be more widely known.

Libby Cone
author of War on the Margins

reademwritem, for some tasteful examples of lesbian sex read Tipping The Velvet by Sarah Waters. It's a great read... truly!

I've heard it reviewed on NPR; I'll probably order it with my next Amazon batch.

This is a book of Claude Cahun's photos (a book with text is unavailable, even by ISBN). I don't think the "touchstone" thing is working, but it's in my library.

This thread is so entertaining! I've read my share of Bella Books/Naiad books - they have generic, and often dull sex scenes at the end of a long novel of URST. The dialogue and scenarios are contrived, yet I find them strangely compelling. Something about knowing that there is a lesbian plot makes bad writing somehow worth it.

I think that there are so few great lesbian books that you have to relish what there is - the humorous ones get me every time. Plus I love a secondary character who happens to be an non-neurotic lesbian - like Cersei in George R Martin

I published a book in which the Lesbian Surrealist artists Claude Cahun and Marcel Moore figure prominently. My staid British publisher was averse to going digital, but they suddenly released the Kindle edition of War on the Margins about ten days ago, making it available in the US. The book is about the Nazi occupation of the Channel Islands during WWII; Cahun and Moore, semi-retired on the island of Jersey, became Resistance propagandists. What I find amusing is that although I consider myself heterosexual, the only criticism I have received of sex scenes is of the straight one and not the lesbian one!

There's an intentionaly bad sex scene in Michelle Tea's Valencia. I forget why, but her lover refuses to undress -- ever -- & so there's a descrip (or 2) of the narrator trying to make love to her pajama-clad gf.

I have to stand up for S Waters: There's a place in Affinity where the 2 characters are standing close together, fully clothed, & one touches the place where the other wd be wearing a necklace. Oh, how I love that scene!

Sorry for the 2 posts in a row -- I tried to edit the first one but it kept making me write a separate post.

I have to defend Sarah Waters, too, actually: Tipping the Velvet is my favorite book, and I never found the sex scenes bad. In fact, I think she did them pretty skillfully. The part in Fingersmith when her hand is kissed is brilliant.

>_>

I loved Tipping The Velvet. don't judge me.

To be fair, it wasn't for the sex scenes...though i didn't find them bad.

There was a rather disturbing short in "The best lesbian erotica of 2007" (or 2008? I can't remember which year and don't have it handy) involving a stiletto in the back room of a shoe store.

17: I'm intrigued!

17 >

Stiletto...? That sounds terrifying.

lol...one person's intrigue is another person's terror

It was mostly like..."no...that's not where this is going...oh, wow, yes it is. awkward"

I have a bit of a foot phobia as it is.