50 Somethings 50 ways to torture your children...
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2LA12Hernandez
2. Refer to the songs you listen to as "REAL music".
4arubabookwoman
4. Pretend to be deaf.
5LA12Hernandez
Pretend?
10Nicole_VanK
> 5 : Alternatively you could pretend your hearing is fine. Harder to do perhaps, but might make 'm more cautious. ;-)
13LA12Hernandez
7. When you go to the school to pick them up jump up and down while yelling out "YOO HOO BABY! MOM IS OVER HERE"
15countrylife
9. Take them along on a plane trip, unthinkingly wearing a dress with 21 metal buttons, AND forgetting that my cell phone is in my "pocket" (aka bra, where I can feel it ring) and watch them watch me getting pat-searched and wanded.
16PhaedraB
10. Follow them around in Hot Topic with a big, beaming smile, point at things, and alternately say, "Ooo, isn't that cute! I'd like that!" and "Those young folks, what will they think of next!"
17LA12Hernandez
11. Refer to their Mangas, as "comic books".
18bridgitshearth
Yep.
19fugitive
I find if I use any outdated OR current slang badly my kids start screaming STOP!!!
E.g., "Hey, what be the haps? You da bomb! Groovy! That is so boss! A shout out to my peeps. Do you mean 'bad' meaning good or 'bad' meaning bad?"
Then say "Word" and make a couple of botched gang (or heavy metal) hand signs.
Bonus points for bad hip-hop dancing (or moon walking).
E.g., "Hey, what be the haps? You da bomb! Groovy! That is so boss! A shout out to my peeps. Do you mean 'bad' meaning good or 'bad' meaning bad?"
Then say "Word" and make a couple of botched gang (or heavy metal) hand signs.
Bonus points for bad hip-hop dancing (or moon walking).
20theexiledlibrarian
Go to a Hall and Oates concert and be sure to sing along to ALL the songs as loudly as possible (ok, it was 10 years ago, but it still makes me smile to remember how those 2 kids tried to distance themselves from their father and me & pretend they didn't know us)
21LA12Hernandez
Leave comments on their myspace like "Hello are you there? Remember Me? Call your MOM."
24WholeHouseLibrary
Try as I have (and often), my sons are unflappable. Anything I've ever done (either on purpose or by sheer coincidence) has never phased them in the least bit. Of course, it's possible that their mother may have "gotten" to them, but if so, I don't know about it. What I ~do~ know is that the boys will only visit her occasionally, 'en masse', and rarely stay more than a couple of hours.
First hand knowledge, though: The occasion was my oldest son's Eagle Scout ceremony. We had been divorced for a couple of years, and I was already married to MrsHouseLibrary. My ex (call her ThiMs) refused to participate in the ceremony. Instead, she sat in the back of the auditorium and cried. There is a point in the ceremony where the Scout awards his parents tokens (a tie-tack for the dad, and a "Mother's Pin" for the mom) for their assistance in him achieving this rank. MrsHouseLibrary received a pin, because she was involved from the time we dating. My son then left the stage, walked back to where his mother was (still) sobbing, affixed the pin to her collar, gave her a quick kiss and returned to the stage. He did this without any hint that he might have been bothered at all by her behavior.
As soon as the ceremony ended, ThiMs left. When my second son had his Eagle Scout ceremony, he was prepared to do likewise, but she didn't show up for it. My third son didn't attempt to get the Eagle Rank, but remained active (primarily as a Merit Badge Counselor at both Summer Camp and Winter Camp for several years. And that is why I am so profoundly proud of my kids, even if I can't embarrass them.
First hand knowledge, though: The occasion was my oldest son's Eagle Scout ceremony. We had been divorced for a couple of years, and I was already married to MrsHouseLibrary. My ex (call her ThiMs) refused to participate in the ceremony. Instead, she sat in the back of the auditorium and cried. There is a point in the ceremony where the Scout awards his parents tokens (a tie-tack for the dad, and a "Mother's Pin" for the mom) for their assistance in him achieving this rank. MrsHouseLibrary received a pin, because she was involved from the time we dating. My son then left the stage, walked back to where his mother was (still) sobbing, affixed the pin to her collar, gave her a quick kiss and returned to the stage. He did this without any hint that he might have been bothered at all by her behavior.
As soon as the ceremony ended, ThiMs left. When my second son had his Eagle Scout ceremony, he was prepared to do likewise, but she didn't show up for it. My third son didn't attempt to get the Eagle Rank, but remained active (primarily as a Merit Badge Counselor at both Summer Camp and Winter Camp for several years. And that is why I am so profoundly proud of my kids, even if I can't embarrass them.
25tloeffler
Bravo! Your sons' behaviors show that you did something right, and you should be proud!
I have to admit to being unable to embarrass one of my sons. I think he realized early on that I was going to chaperone all of his band trips whether he liked it or not (Hey! I was having a great time!), and he realized that the more embarrassed he acted, the worse I acted, so he just accepted it. To the point that when he was "advertising" his senior recital in college, he posted flyers with the teaser "My Mommy Will Be There!" I'm still Mommy to most of his friends.
Good Job, WHL!
I have to admit to being unable to embarrass one of my sons. I think he realized early on that I was going to chaperone all of his band trips whether he liked it or not (Hey! I was having a great time!), and he realized that the more embarrassed he acted, the worse I acted, so he just accepted it. To the point that when he was "advertising" his senior recital in college, he posted flyers with the teaser "My Mommy Will Be There!" I'm still Mommy to most of his friends.
Good Job, WHL!
27countrylife
And in a thread-mash with "You know your're 50 something if you remember...":
When the kids ask, "when can we go shopping?" or "when can Sam come over?" or even "when's supper?", any "when" question receives the answer (sing along now) ...
"In the year 2525..."
When the kids ask, "when can we go shopping?" or "when can Sam come over?" or even "when's supper?", any "when" question receives the answer (sing along now) ...
"In the year 2525..."
28tloeffler
I love it! In a similar vein, I used to counter every "I want" statement with "You can't always get what you wa-ant..." and I wouldn't stop until I sang the whole chorus. Worked wonders.
29theaelizabet
Hey, I've sung that song to my teen for similar reasons! My husband and I recently tortured (apparently) our teen when we sang "Hair" loudly, along with the cast of the Broadway revival as they performed it this year's Tony Awards. She made us promise never to do that in front of her friends.
32theexiledlibrarian
wow, we all must think alike...I also used to sing that to my teens!
33theaelizabet
31-Ha! Very soon!
28 and 32-And to think we're turning a whole generation off the Stones.... because they're "establishment."
28 and 32-And to think we're turning a whole generation off the Stones.... because they're "establishment."