Fun book--made me feel so much better about my relationship history. ( )

"Love is a serious mental disease." - Plato

In this shamelessly lighthearted summary, Andrew Shaffer presents short accounts of the doomed love affairs of prominent intellectuals through history. Despite its title, not all are traditionally distinguished as philosophers in the general sense (Nicolas Chamfort, John Calvin), but the point of the book is to demonstrate, albeit with frivolous brevity, the apparent incompatibility between intellectual genius and romantic relationships.

"In or out of love, philosophers are overly critical, condescending, and holier-than-thou. Their theories are impenetrable, their positions contradictory, their probing questions a nuisance. Such temperamental behavior has made philosophers unsuitable candidates for marriage. It is not surprising that so many philosophers simply opted out of the love game altogether." (2)

Not all of these accounts reveal failures in this dimension, particularly those of Locke, Seneca, Socrates, and Swedenborg. There is nothing inherently defective about a lack of romantic interest in a potential lover, indifference to romantic arrangements, and forsaking intimacy for a more ethereal, introspective life, unless one considers these positions in the context of functional social participation. Some of these are more accounts of failed suicides than failed romance. Chamfort and Seneca both died from self-inflicted wounds, yet not without considerable effort and prolonged suffering in the act.

Simone de Beauvoir - "There will always be certain differences between man and woman; her eroticism, and therefore her sexual world, have a special form of their own and therefore cannot fail to engender a sensuality, a sensitivity, of a special nature. This means that her relations to her own body, to that of the male, to the child, will never be identical with those the male bears to his own body, to that of the female, and to the child."

All but two of the individuals explored in this book are men. Simone de Beauvoir and Ayn Rand are exceptional cases, each with an unconventional romantic arrangement approached from individual and contrasting perspectives. it is not insubstantial to point out that in many of these accounts, the women with whom male intellectuals are involved prove themselves equally problematic. A common theme is the disharmony inherent to an arrangement between a contemplative personality and the realities of domestic life. In the account of Peter Abelard & Heloise, Abelard, after being castrated, checks into a convent, "an asylum to cure me from love". Heloise realizes, reluctantly but not without maturity, that "the cries of children and the cares of a family are utterly inconsistent with the tranquility which study require." Comte and Rousseau also struggle intensely with the conditions of children and marriage interfering with their philosophical pursuits, while St. Augustine desperately seeks salvation from "the dirt of physical desire" and "the dark hell of lust".

"One must make the choice between loving women and knowing them; there is no middle course." - Chamfort

Each entry contains related tidbits presented to reveal insight or clarity on a specific individual's character and inclinations. It is in these sections that the reader gathers interesting information that often contextualizes the accounts. It is also where we learn of the strange fetishes of Descartes, who had a thing for cross-eyed woman, and Rousseau, who took delight in being spanked, s&m, and flashing. And what investigation into the love lives of philosophers would be complete without considering the misogyny of Nietzsche, Schopenhauer, Hegel, Plato, Aristotle?

This book is an amusing and thus superficial exploration. It emphasizes the contradictions, duplicity, and sheer clumsiness of these renowned intellectuals in the serious yet frequently neglected aspect of human romantic affairs. The stories themselves, while told in no more than two or three pages each, are quite intriguing, and though Shaffer clearly aims for his book to be popular, he manages to strike a pleasing balance between accessibility and intellectual stimulation, presenting the depressing realities and miserable circumstances of these accounts with enough vagueness that the enjoyable nature of the book is never threatened. In some ways, this book can be taken as a collection of humorously disturbing examples of superior human intellect attempting to engage with a dominant component of common human social activity, or even as an historical presentation of the agonizing sexual incompetence of certain distinguished intellectuals.

Great Philosophers Who Failed at Love is a simple quick read. Many great philosophers were terribly misogynistic, some completely undone by sex. Kierkegaard had so little regard for himself that he seemed to be able to love only in thought and fantasy, a common occurrence among the philosophers. Kant was completely unaccepting of sex except as a means of procreation. Lucretius thought sex was morally acceptable only so long as love was not involved. Nietzsche directed love only at women not interested in him. Plato thought women should be held in common by many men and that only the acceptable should breed. The unacceptable should abort or commit infanticide. Rousseau, what a prize, had 5 children with a woman he deemed his inferior and gave each up to a foundling hospital so they wouldn't interfere with his work. He enjoyed being spanked and exposing himself to unsuspecting women. Bertrand Russell was a great champion of divorce and divorced 3 wives. He thought men and women need each other mentally as much as physically and finally settled down with the love of his life at the age of 80. Sartre, though ugly himself, preferred beautiful women and didn't respect prostitutes though visited them regularly. He did, though, inspire the love of Simone de Beauvoir. They each adopted a younger woman who was their lover.

I recommend this book to anyone who wants to read about people who can think about the great life but have difficulty in actually living. ( )

What comes to mind when someone says the words "philosophy" or "philosopher"? I must admit that if I didn't love philosophy as much as I do, I'd think of words such as "difficult," "boring," and "unimportant." Instead I think of men and women who have, through their deep intellectual thought, helped change the course of politics, business, theology, etc. I would NEVER, however, think of their personal--much less romantic--lives. Andrew Shaffer, on the other hand, did.

Great Philosophers Who Failed at Love is a quick, informative, and fun read that reads more like People Magazine than anything academic (which it doesn't aim to be). Organized into short profiles, Shaffer provides the best examples from each philosopher's life that evidence failure in the romance department. Over thirty profiles give us a glimpse into the often dysfunctional love lives of some of history's greatest minds who also happened to be swingers, cheats, carriers of venereal diseases, and even killers ("accidental"). At times, the stories are so unbelievable that I had to remind myself I wasn't reading a work of fiction nor a supermarket tabloid. Unbelievable at these short informational profiles may seem, they are all based on researched fact.

Here are just a few examples:

* Jean-Paul Sartre: Adopted his mistress as his daughter

* Leo Tolstoy: Had a tumultuous relationship of forty-eight years with his wife, Sophia

* Louis Althusser: He accidentally (*cough cough*) strangled his wife

* Immanuel Kant: He had a clinical view of marriage

I enjoyed this book, but I don't recommend it for everyone. If you love philosophy and have no problem with delving into the personal lives of philosophers then this book is for you. If you just want to enhance your knowledge of philosophers beyond their philosophies or generic bio entries on Wikipedia then this is for you. If you have an issue with reading about philosophers and their romantic escapades then this book is NOT for you. Plain and simple.

Shaffer, no matter what you think of this book, did do some good research. The bibliography at the end provides a notable selection of scholarly materials that point the reader in the direction of fine primary and secondary sources for further research. Not bad at all for a debut novel and a foray into a subject Shaffer is not an expert on.

I do have one major criticism of the book. While the majority of philosophers did fail at love, not all of them in this book fit the title of the work. I question Shaffer's decision in including Thomas Aquinas and Augustine of Hippo, to name a few. I would disagree that these men failed in love, but rather they found love in a different way. Aquinas found a passion for God--hardly a failure at love. Augustine, on the hand, may have had relationships with a number of women, but his conversion led him to a life of service to God. I would hardly call that failure, but a different end on a road towards love. ( )