Metatron: Metatron acts as the voice of God. Any documented occasion when some yahoo claims that God has spoken to them, they're speaking to me. Or they're talking to themselves.

Loki: Our last four days on Earth. If I had a dick, I'd go get laid. But we can do the next best thing.
Bartleby: What's that?
Loki: Let's kill people.
[A woman standing next to them does a spit take]
Loki: Oh, not you.

Bethany: Look, just take whatever you want, but don't kill or rape me.
Metatron: Oh, give over, will you? I couldn't rape you if I wanted to; Angels are ill-equipped! [Drops his pants to show blank skin where his genitals should be] See? I'm as anatomically impaired as a Ken doll. Now make yourself useful and gimme that towel, will you? Honestly, you bottom feeders and your arrogance, you think everybody's just trying to get in your knickers.
Bethany: What are you?
Metatron: I'm pissed off, is what I am! Do you go around drenching everybody that comes into your room with flame-retardant chemicals? No wonder you're single.

Bethany: You knew Christ?
Rufus: Knew him? Shit, nigga owes me 12 bucks!