“And it occurred to me that perhaps grief is as much regret for what we have never had as sorrow for what we have lost” (184).

Does the end of a marriage always mean failure? For a book full of realistic snapshots about the messiness of marriage and family, there wasn’t really another way it could’ve ended. But, still, it was so sad, even if it was inevitable. Maybe the saddest part wasn’t the ending of their marriage but the marriage to begin with. While I absolutely love Nicholls’s narrator’s voices—characters who are such regular, average, forgettable people, everyone and anyone all at once—and while I laughed out loud on nearly every page of the first half of this novel, I never really—not once—understood the connection between Connie and Douglas. They were too different, their contrasts not complimentary at all. They seemed more rough sandpaper than smooth yin-yang, constantly irritating each other (and sometimes the reader).

Although the characters’ chemistry was absent at times, there are a lot of qualities that made this a worthwhile read: the understated wit had me in tears at times and the relationships between spouses and parents and children had me relating more often than not. I love that these characters and their relationships are so messy. Watching Douglas battle insecurities, feeling excluded and censured because of it was oddly therapeutic—as was witnessing him and all of his parenting mistakes. It’s hard to be wired differently from our kids, dealing with unmet expectations which leads to disappointment which leads to regrets which leads to parent guilt. That shit is real. It’s nice to know that those challenges are normal—there’s comfort in that camaraderie, that parenting club that can feel so lonely at times. There’s also a gentle warning to be had: our own issues and insecurities can end up cultivating that inner voice of our children or spouse, leading to broken relationships sometimes past the point of repair.

Besides the characters’ marriage being past the point of repair, the story became a bit broken for me a little more than halfway through. Like Connie, I was ready to call it quits and go home. The search for Albie got a little tiresome. The final plea of Douglas was pretty painful. The reunion of Connie and Angelo felt a little cheap. And after Albie’s pity-motivated phone call, I couldn’t muster up much hope for poor Douglas, even with his search for Danish Freya. ( )

Us is the story of a long-term marriage that seems to be coming to an end. Douglas is a scientist married to former artist Connie. As their lives are about to move to the empty-nester stage, Connie announces that she is considering leaving Douglas when their son Albie leaves for college. In a bid to save his marriage, Douglas takes his wife and son on a European Grand Tour, but his over-bearing manner only makes things worse, with both Albie and Connie leaving him in the middle of the holiday. Doug resolves to do everything in his power to track down Albie and pull his family together.

With its trope of an awkward scientist in an unlikely relationship with a beautiful bohemian girl, Us is quite reminiscent of The Rosie Project in some ways. It lacks the unique narrative voice of Rosie, and Douglas is a far less appealing character than Don Tillman. After all, Don has a reason for his societal awkwardness; Douglas just comes across like a complete boor a lot of the time. It's very hard to sympathise with a character whose awful behaviour is the author of his demise, and this weakens the book. None of the central characters are all that likeable, and at least half the book feels to be just going through the motions. Some of it is so unlikely and contrived as to be ridiculous. It's hard to believe that this unexceptional novel made the Booker longlist. ( )

I found this novel a fabulous read. It made me smile and weep as I travelled alongside Douglas and experienced his marriage and family life. Douglas and Connie have been married over 20 years. In the dead of night she announces that their marriage has run its course. Douglas is not ready to face this and they embark on a family holiday of a lifetime, a grand tour of Europe by train, visiting the galleries of different cities to show great art to their son, Albie, who is interested in photography. This is a grand tour that is doomed from the beginning and I cringed at the tension between Douglas and Albie. The reader is with Douglas, it is his version of events we hear and it is occasionally painful and often funny and sometimes both. In the short chapters he tells us about the holiday and also reminisces about how he and Connie met and married and had a daughter who died and then Albie. Some stories, such as when Douglas sat up until late into the night glueing together Albie's Lego bricks into castles etc is touchingly tender. He did this for love but his son and wife were astonished and horrified. And then, after he has publicly insulted Albie, their son heads off on his own and Douglas decides to search for him using scientific principles. There are plenty of amusing adventures until the end of the book. The story is told sympathetically, about what may not ordinarily be a sympathetic character. Douglas is difficult to like at first but he grew on me. ( )

You will laugh, you will cry, it will haunt you ( )

A lovely book with incredibly real characters, sweet and funny and sad and wise and very human. Loved it. ( )