This book is a must read. It's hilarious and honest, and makes me feel a teeny bit more sane. ( )

Eh, it was ok. Mostly worst case scenario stuff that I think my wife found funnier than I did. But then again it’s probably more geared toward her than me. It wasn’t bad, but it also wasn’t very enlightening. More of a comedy schtick that will help you feel better about your situation...maybe. ( )

A funny, frank, and refreshing book intended for frustrated parents of toddlers. This is purely for entertainment, though. I was expecting humorous helpful advice, but I don't think there was much useful advice anywhere in there (and some of the advice is downright bad for humor's sake).

Here are some excerpts that I think highlight what I liked in the tone pretty well:

A toddler is a cross between a sociopath, a rabid animal, a cocker spaniel, a demon, and an angel.

Be sure to jot down whatever antidepressants you’re taking and the dosage in your child’s baby book. When she looks back on her milestones, she’ll also see the damage she did to your mental health. Hopefully, this will inspire her to major in something serious like biology or political science rather than ceramics, so she’ll be able to take care of you the way you deserve. No one ever made millions handcrafting clay pots. It’s her turn to foot the bill.

Toddlers can go from laughing to crying to screaming in a matter of seconds. There is no point in trying to keep up with their tsunami of emotions, because as you’re addressing one, the next one is already revving up to drown you. When you get overwhelmed by your toddler’s feelings, it’s best just to find a quiet corner where you can hug your knees and rock back and forth. Sing a pretty, sad song like “The Rose.” You can even make up your own tune. My favorite is “I Used to Have Dreams.” After a few minutes your kid will seek you out, sit on your head, and fart, but at least you tried. This is called yoga.

Three-year-olds have only one goal: to make you look like a bitch-ass punk in public. Once you know this, you’ll pick your battles. Pick none of them. Don’t engage in arguments with a three-year-old, because if you’re yelling or explaining, they’ve already won. Three-year-olds are power-hungry despots who take pleasure in seeing you become unhinged.

There’s a reason toddlers are at peak cuteness. It’s because Nature knows that toddlerhood is when you are most likely to take your child to a public park and leave him there with a note that says, “I’m a little shit and they couldn’t take it anymore.”

( )

I put this on my "to read" list when my children, were in fact, toddlers.... which was years ago now. I thought this would be amusing, but I didn't find it all that funny -- it's more like being with a person who thinks they are hilarious but whose jokes stun you into uncomfortable silence by their un-funniness. I quit reading about halfway through. ( )

If you're a parent of a young child, or were a parent of a young child, or thinking about one day becoming a parent of a young child, or, really, just anyone who wants some authentic belly-laughs, this is the book for you! I have been reading mainly young adult-focused nonfiction books, but when I came across this book title and immediately pictured the face of my 4-year-old who I swear is actively trying her hardest to make me crack on a regular basis, I knew I had to experience Bunmi Laditan's book with the double-take title.
I usually do not prefer audiobooks over books with text, but in this case, having the audiobook read by the author and hearing her anxiety increase as she read her own words definitely made this book more amazing. The main thing that I learned from this book (besides the fact that I periodically had to pause the reading because I was laughing so hard) is that my toddler is not any worse than any others. I also thought that I may be the only parent who uses the phrase "you're going to break your face!" but apparently, I'm not! From scientific facts like, "60-80% of caring for toddlers is fetching them snacks," to realizations that toddlers "can't be reasoned with" and "can only understand words that have to do with snacks," comforted me in so many ways. During the past 9 years of being a parent, I have learned one thing that exists on a daily basis and Laditan confirmed it: "the first no is usually a lie...ask again...and again."
Laditan reads her book as if she is a doctor presenting a proposal for a grant, but she does it about the absurdity that is toddlerhood, with some highly effective f-bombs thrown in from time to time to remind me that she is just a stressed-out mom like me.
I can imagine that there are probably many parents out there who may be severely offended by the title of this book, and I'm sure Laditan would categorize these people in the "sanctaparent" category that she often references in her book. But for those who absolutely love their toddlers, would die for them, but know that they truly can be a**holes, this book will surely put a smile on your face! Oh, and rest assured, plenty of other toddlers don't like spicy toothpaste either! Hilarious book from a compelling storyteller! ( )