Beside Myself (2016 original; edició 2016)

DNF. Starts so slow. Poorly written. The conceit of the plot is just so implausible. They're six years old. Hard pass for me. ( )

The concept behind this and a lot of the plot reminded me greatly of Virginia Andrews—not exactly realistic, but compulsive in that enjoyably OTT melodrama kind of way. I thought it was going to be a thriller from the blurb, but it really wasn't. I struggled a bit with the writing style in places, and would question the portrayal of mental health issues and sexual trauma if this were a more serious book but, for what it was, it was fine.

This book was both sad and creepy, and completely messed with my head. What started out as a game for Helen and Ellie, with an identity swap, turned into something a lot more sinister when Ellie refused to swap back. This is the point when Helen's life spirals out of control and I could have cried in frustration for her.

When Ellie becomes Helen she very easily takes on a completely different persona whereas Helen fights against the enforced Ellie-ness at every chance she gets. I questioned who was who on several occasions, and I even wondered at one point if they weren't twins at all, but perhaps one little girl with a split personality.

The story mainly revolves around Helen, stuck as Ellie, and how the swap affected her life. It would appear that she would do anything just to feel some kind of emotion and I felt that Ann Morgan had really allowed the reader to experience this emotional turmoil with Helen (now Ellie). Helen has completely lost her identity and it's little wonder that she refers to herself as Smudge and her sister as H-ellie.

It's only on reading further that we understand why Ellie wanted to leave her identity behind and I raged at the inability of their mother to comfort her girls when they needed her most. Yes, she had also lost her husband but it's in a mother's nature to protect her young; a task she failed miserably at. Just exactly how much she failed did not become clear until the end and we got a glimpse into how selfish she really was.

I am amazed that this is Ann Morgan's first novel, as it is so well written and emotional. I was unable to put this book down and it left me with the thought that a name is only a label and underneath we are who we are, nobody can ever take that away from us no matter how hard they might try. It's chilling, gripping, compulsive reading - I couldn't take my eyes off the page.

I received this e-book from the publisher, Bloomsbury, via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review. ( )

I was intitially drawn in by the cover of the book and the promise of a pshycholigically thrilling story of twins who swapped places against ones wishes. Ellie was a living character - by which I mean she felt alive and I couldn't help but dive right into the desire to understand how she came to find herself so lost. This book brought up questions of identity and perception. There truly are two sides to every story. ( )

I was intitially drawn in by the cover of the book and the promise of a pshycholigically thrilling story of twins who swapped places against ones wishes. Ellie was a living character - by which I mean she felt alive and I couldn't help but dive right into the desire to understand how she came to find herself so lost. This book brought up questions of identity and perception. There truly are two sides to every story. ( )