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In a tour de force that has been called "Monty Python meets Twin Peaks," three actors bring an entire community of hilariously inbred characters to life.
Edward: Hello? Hello? What's all this shouting? We'll have no trouble here!
Benjamin: Don't toads give you warts? Harvey: You may give a toad a wart, but a toad may not give a wart to you!
Harvey: Doubtless you've been in the bathroom, spraying your belly with sticky white love piss!
Harvey: Perhaps you're a naturally slothful person, sluggish and indolent. A dawdling flaneur, content to waste his life spread-eagled on pillows, forever indulging himself in the pleasures of the palm.
Visitor: ...You are a shop? Tubbs: No, I'm a lady!
Geoff: Have we missed the cakes?
Ross: The monkey and the lesbian! It sounds like one of Aesop's fables!
Tubbs: You lied to me, Edward! There is a Swansea! And other places too!
Mike King: Any problems, don't hesitate to call me, day or night. Apart from night.
Mike King: This one's going out to Sharlene on the Carol E. Scott Ward, she's 14 years old today and having a termination. Here's the Bay City Rollers and Bye Bye Baby.
Ollie: Just drive through them Dave, they can't stop theatre!
Harvey: In this house, the first Monday of every month is Nude Day.
Ally: You devoid! Shakespeare is a language.
Papa Lazarou: You're my wife now!
Mike: I sent you an email! Geoff: I can't open 'em, can I? I've only got Windows 95!
Pauline: You can shout as many jobs as you want, Ross. You'll never bloody get one, you worthless dole scum.
Pauline: Some of you, like Ross, will want to follow in your father's footsteps. But you can't sign on forever...
Matthew: I thought you were a vampire! Herr Lipp: No, I am just a queen!
Postbox: Thank you for posting a letter inside me!
Ally: I don't like that Bradley Pitt anyway. Too much acting
Geoff: Brian says Cheryl looks like a moose. He said I can't believe he's marrying that old moose. Brian: I never said that, Mike. Geoff did. Geoff: No, I said she looked about a hundred years old, I didn't say like a moose.
Bernice: Some people call this Theatre in Education, I call it Aids in a Van.
Recording of Pauline: You work-shy set of bastards, what's the point of you?! Sit up straight, you bone-idle lazy cunt!-[Ross turns the recorder off] Pauline: What was that?! Ross: That was your workshop on self-esteem for the unemployed.
Pauline: Just who do you think you're talking to?! Cathy Carter Smith: Well according to my report, a psychotic fifty year old lesbian! Pauline: [outraged] How dare you! I'm forty eight!
Papa Lazarou: (while communicating to the dead) But wait...I'm hearing another voice! His name... is George! Volunteer: G-George? Can I speak to him? Papa Lazarou: (sarcastically) No, he's dead BUT...You can speak to him...Through me (does a series of odd movements). Now I am George. Volunteer: George? Papa Lazarou: Yesssss? Volunteer: Is that you, George? Papa Lazarou: (in exasperation) Yes it is, ask me a question! Volunteer: Tell me my name, George. Papa Lazarou: All right... [Papa Lazarou pauses, unsure what to say, then breaks character] Papa Lazarou: (in an undertone) What's your name? Volunteer: Annie.
Chris Frost: Chalk it up!
Dr Fish: How old would you have been next birthday?
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▾Descripcions del llibre
In a tour de force that has been called "Monty Python meets Twin Peaks," three actors bring an entire community of hilariously inbred characters to life.
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