Love Me Whole è il tipo di romanzo che puoi avere la fortuna di scoprire mentre cerchi titoli per coprire una strana tappa di una sfida letteraria: un’autrice poco conosciuta, una copertina che non mi avrebbe mai dato nell’occhio, un titolo che potrebbe suggerire le solite romanticherie… e invece la 2019 RHC mi ha spinto tra la pagine di questo libro e adesso sprizzo gioia da tutti i pori.

Sì, perché Love Me Whole parla di un ragazzo con il disturbo dissociativo dell’identità (DDI), che implica (cito Wikipedia, che cita il DSM), “la presenza di due o più identità o stati di personalità separate che a loro volta prendono il controllo del comportamento del soggetto, accompagnato da un'incapacità di evocare i ricordi personali”. Quindi Oryn condivide il proprio corpo con Cohen, Reed, Theo, Rain e Cove, che hanno tutti età diverse, gusti diversi, caratteri diversi, abilità diverse, orientamenti sessuali diversi. Sono in tutto e per tutto persone diverse.

Come se l’è cavata James con il DDI, che, personalmente, credo di non aver mai trovato prima in un romanzo? Direi bene. Innanzi tutto, non mi ha trasmesso l’idea di malattia, con quel retrogusto di paternalismo che troppo spesso accompagna il mondo della salute mentale. Anzi, senza fare spoiler, c’è proprio un momento nel romanzo dove si specifica che Vaughn non deve essere il salvatore di Oryn, ma semplicemente il suo partner.

Poi non nego di averlo trovato interessante perché non sapevo nulla del DDI: immagino che una persona più informata di me potrebbe trovare Love Me Whole didascalico, ma io mi sono bevuta tutte le informazioni con grande interesse. James spiega bene cosa possa significare vivere con il DDI, le difficoltà che si possono incontrare nel costruire una relazione, l’ostracismo di cui si può essere vittime, la difficoltà di avere una diagnosi corretta.

L’unico difetto che mi sento di segnalare è stata la massiccia presenza di salti temporali nell’ultimo quarto del romanzo. Sembra che James a un certo punto volesse arrivare in fretta a tirare le conclusioni della storia e alcune relazioni di Vaughn con alcuni altri di Oryn sono state sacrificate, come quella con Cove o Theo (che è asessuale e per ovvi motivi mi è dispiaciuto non vederlo di più). Per il resto, tenetelo d’occhio se vi va di saperne di più sul DDI. ( )

Buddy read with Maria.

I was expecting a lot from this story and was let down. There were many times when I had to stop reading and remind myself that this was a romance and not the biography that I wanted. The story was well written and Oryn's illness was handled in a positive nature. I enjoyed the way that the five men related to Vaughn and each other. Vaughn was often clueless and pushed Oryn too hard and too fast in my opinion. I would have liked to get to know Vaughn better but the story was primarily Oryn's.





( )

oh boy, I have a lot of thoughts and feelings about this. I have a lot of problems with Vaughn and really don't like him as a partner for Oryn. This book could have been great, but it just misses the mark for me. This could have been a book about making connections, navigating life together, building something as partners. Instead it was super one sided. Vaughn expected Oryn to share every private, painful detail of his life almost instantly but wasn't willing to share his own feelings, experiences, truths. His treatment of Oryn was infantilizing at times, super shitty and disrespectful. I would have like his research to include not just DID but child abuse and complex PTSD so he could understand what triggers were, since he struggled with that basic concept. He was obviously a super sheltered person with no experience of what children actually go through having shitty parents/guardians.

It also would have been nice if he talked to Oryn about boundaries and how to interact with his alters before he did something either he was uncomfortable with or he thought Oryn might not like.

Overall this didn't really read like a Nicky James book - I normally love her stuff and find her books to be better written than this. It kills me because I can see how I would have loved for this to be written, how affirming it could have been of different kinds of romantic relationships, but instead it fell back on overused, and in my opinion dangerous tropes. ( )

NNNNNGGHHH I GIVE THIS ALL THE STARS ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

One of my first Nicky James books and I was absolutely blown away!

This beautiful love story follows Vaughn as he navigates falling in love with someone with dissociative identity disorder (DID). As it’s told entirely from his POV, we experience firsthand his initial bewilderment, his fears, his unconditional acceptance, and his abundance of selfless love and devotion so powerful it has me tearing up just thinking about it ( )

4.5 stars
I can't tell you the most interesting thing about this book, I just realized, cuz spoiler. lol

Vaughn was very patient. It's hard not to get whiplash when you face 6 personalities in one body, and when the switch happens frequently and sometimes without a warning that it's about to happen. It's chaotic.

Sometimes this wasn't the most exciting book, they did mundane things, but just when I wanted to take a break, because I didn't much care about them exploring a museum, an alter would come forward and make it interesting. Which coming out of my mouth, sounds horrible. I think people with DID would much prefer a quiet day without any excitement.

So this isn't the kind of book that would make you grip the edge of your seat, bouncing up and down. But it's fascinating. Not Oryn in particular but how Vaughn tried to navigate their very fragile relationship in a sea of uncertainty. It was really emotional.

I also wouldn't call this a particularly dark book. There isn't even a mention of anything dark, more like a conjecture, speculation of what might have happened to Oryn in the past that resulted in 5 alters to come forward. And at times I teared up, because he himself didn't even remember the reason. He just knew that something bad had happened.... oh, no... there is something that might trigger some people: suicide attempt, but I don't think it was really an attempt more like a call for help?... or, the physical manifestation of the inner pain, he wanted to hurt just as much on the outside, as he was hurting on the inside.

I seriously feared the ending. Just this one time I did not want a perfect HEA. I can't tell you why, cuz that would be a spoiler too.

The length of the book allowed the relationship to develop in a slow but steady pace, and also for us to understand someone who lives with this disorder. The balance was perfect, the romance did not get overshadowed by the struggles of living with a disorder, unlike in the Trials of Fear series, in my opinion.

It's a beautiful love story and I liked it lots and lots. :) ( )