I ended up DNFing this book around the 50% mark for a number of reasons. The first was the amount of language and the second was that it was slow. This book started out promising but my hopes were let down quickly. I understand that the characters were grieving, but they were still wallowing in self-pity and woe-is-me.
All and all, I'm a bit disappointed by this book because I was hoping for better.

Rating: 2 Stars
Content: No Rating

*I received a complimentary copy of this novel from the publisher. All thoughts are my own and a positive review was not required. ( )

Cw: School shooting, loss of loved ones, PTSD, anxiety, survivor guilt, excessive drinking at parties.

I am exhausted.

There was so much anger and hurt and grief and guilt and hope. I was literally feeling a strong emotion for about 80% of this novel. Hence my current wrung out state. I confess that some of that emotion was actually annoyance. May was a very angry person for most of the first half of the novel and she was honestly quite unlikeable. Yes, I know it was because of the guilt and PTSD but that didn't make it easier to read. However, I grew to care about her and Zach as they struggled with their difficult family situations and with the violent act that connects them. This was a well paced novel that I read over one day because it was such a compelling read. There was so much going on in this novel but each subplot felt complete, like it had just the right amount of airtime so to speak. These then connected together in a way that flowed seamlessly to create quite a layered story. It's quite a skilful writer who can pick up threads of different subplots here and there and weave then together without creating jarring moments. The end was a moving tribute to the survivors of violent crime and the families of the victims. I'll definitely read more from this author. ( )

A book about survival, the survival of those left behind. How do you learn to move on? How do you find your way in a new normal? How do you learn to forgive in the aftermath in a tragedy? This is what the two characters, May and Zach learn to do, together. May lost her brother, Zach's mom is defending May's brother's killer. How do you come together and put that behind you? Was May really "the lucky one"? She has to learn to live with survivor's guilt and that's not something easy to do. This was an intense story, one that after I finished, I needed to take a bit of a break from reading. It stabbed me to the core. The writing made me feel both character's pain. ( )

How do you move on when you are holding on to so much anger? This is a heartwrenching, raw, intense story of survival. The story takes place 10 months following the shooting, focusing on May, the lone survivor of a school shooting, and Zach, the son of the attorney who has chosen to represent the shooter. Using both characters' POV, the story goes back and forth through each of their experiences and how they learn to move forward, together, after such a horrific event. May needs to learn to control her anger, which stems from her guilt at being the only survivor and questioning the "why". Zach's life took a 180 when his mother decided to take on the role of the Defense attorney for the alleged shooter. He has to learn to navigate a world where everywhere he turns, someone is taunting him, due to the choices of his mother. By some strange twist sick fate, the two are brought together to learn how to navigate these new waters. In the end May learns that she is not the only one who is hurting from this tragedy and that she must learn to move on, that, as cliche as it sounds, life does move on. The sub-characters of Conor and Lucy helped drive the book, providing humor and heart. It was a very different take on school shootings, providing a look at those left behind and what it takes to move on. ( )

It really pains me to leave a negative review on this, considering the subject. Unfortunately, that alone just isn't enough to salvage this book. I really hate that this was so horrible, on so many levels. The wasted potential for a powerful and touching story about a problem that is plaguing our school systems, is disappointing, to say the least. This was a shallow and ridiculous story about a very real and serious issue.

There is no real discussion about violence in schools or gun issues in our country. It only skims the surface of the real fear that this issue has brought to classrooms everywhere.

This book goes back and forth between May, a school shooting survivor who lost her brother, and Zach, who's Mother is an attorney representing the school shooter. It's supposed to show what both characters experience from this tragic event and its aftermath.

In actuality, its over 300 pages of May squeezing her hands into fist until they bleed, shaking, hyperventilating and crying about...EVERYTHING. Its about May and her sense of entitlement...her violence towards others....her criminal acts of destruction of property and vandalism....her blaming EVERYONE for personal issues..her lack of responsibility....her neediness...her refusal to realize she isn't the only victim, the only one suffering.....I'll stop here, although I could go on. The entire story feels like it's simply a platform for Mays dramatics. The other characters are given no real attention, they exist solely to coddle and placate her.

Zach is the sole saving grace and reason for the 2 stars. I finished this book to find out his ending, that reason alone. He is a relatable and grounded character, that you truly feel for.

This was hard to stomache. It was a painfully grueling read. May is self centered, dramatic and cringy, but we are suppose to feel for her. It's nauseating.

This book is literally everything wrong with this generation. This is the behavior they are taught is ok. My children will NOT be reading this. ( )