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Boys & Sex: Young Men on Hookups, Love,…
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Boys & Sex: Young Men on Hookups, Love, Porn, Consent, and Navigating the… (edició 2020)

de Peggy Orenstein (Autor)

MembresRessenyesPopularitatValoració mitjanaConverses
1267172,086 (4.03)No n'hi ha cap
"To understand girls and sex, we also need to talk about boys and sex. Today's young men are subject to the same cultural forces as their female peers. They are steeped in the distorted media images and binary stereotypes of female sexiness and toxic masculinity which shape how they, too, navigate sexual and emotional relationships. In [this book, the author] uses the same fascinating mix of anecdote and research to reveal how young men understand and negotiate the new rules of physical and emotional intimacy. Drawing on comprehensive interviews with young men, psychologists, academics, and experts in the field, [the author] takes an unprecedented look at the myriad factors that are shaping boys' ideas of sex, girls, and masculinity"--Provided by publisher.… (més)
Membre:howmakirolls
Títol:Boys & Sex: Young Men on Hookups, Love, Porn, Consent, and Navigating the New Masculinity
Autors:Peggy Orenstein (Autor)
Informació:Harper (2020), 304 pages
Col·leccions:La teva biblioteca
Valoració:
Etiquetes:No n'hi ha cap

Detalls de l'obra

Boys & Sex: Young Men on Hookups, Love, Porn, Consent, and Navigating the New Masculinity de Peggy Orenstein

  1. 00
    The Will to Change: Men, Masculinity, and Love de bell hooks (Jesse_wiedinmyer)
    Jesse_wiedinmyer: Don't waste your time on the Orenstein. Read this instead.
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Es mostren 1-5 de 7 (següent | mostra-les totes)
This is the followup to Orenstein's book on Girls and Sex. In order to be comparable, she restricts herself to a similar set, which has class limitations (she acknowledges this upfront). However she does specifically examine LGBTQ teens and pays specific attention to nonwhite kids.

It's a brisk, easy read that relies heavily on interviews, with backup research: the effect of porn on teenage boys (poor), consent, masculinity, assault, hookup culture. The key takeaways here are that we need to be having a lot more conversations with our sons about their feelings, about healthy relationships, about sexuality, about how porn differs from real sex (especially when you consume a great deal of porn before having ever had real world experience), assault, hookup culture and being able to decide what you want out of an encounter, and consent--not just verbal yes and no, but reading emotions, not coercing women, and what respect really means. ( )
  arosoff | Jul 11, 2021 |
I saw Peggy Orenstein speak as part of the launch of this book in 2019. As the mother of a boy, it felt like an important read. And it was. Orenstein covers the full landscape of her topic and I definitely felt more informed at the end. I wished for more concrete advice for parents, but that wasn't the main purpose of the book.
  megbmore | Dec 21, 2020 |
I was distinctly unimpressed with this. bell hooks, in The Will to Change, talks about reading Phyllis Chesler's About Men and says "Her book was disappointing. Filed with quotes from numerous sources, newspaper clippings of male violence, it offered bits and pieces of information; the was little or no explanation, no interpretation."

Orenstein's book, though offering more "explanation and interpretation" (scare quotes for a reason) is more of the same.

Much like hooks with Chesler, I'm much disappointed. ( )
  Jesse_wiedinmyer | Dec 4, 2020 |
As with Girls and Sex this is an important book as it breaks down the tropes and taboos about the sexual culture of up and coming adults. American culture has consistently failed to have an open and honest conversation about sexuality with itself, much less its children, and it shows in rates of unwanted pregnancy, assault, age of first sexual experience, etc.
The main contribution this book makes is to show how this lack of education harms boys as well as girls.
If there is any criticism, it is that the author, as with her previous book, exclusively focuses on high schoolers headed to college and college students. This necessarily skews the sample. It would be interesting to read a similar book on the sexual culture of young people outside of this environment ( )
  andrem55 | Jul 31, 2020 |
Negotiating sexuality and relationships today is arguably more complicated than when I was teenager and as the mother of two teenage boys (and girls) I hoped Boys & Sex might provide me with some insights into areas I may have not considered as part of my discussions with them.

The ‘sex talk’ has never been a single conversation in our house, it’s been the subject of casual discourse over the years as they’ve grown, often initiated as the result of news stories, gossip, or issues faced by their peers. We’ve talked about most of the topics explored in this book, though I’ve learnt from Orenstein via the young men that she interviews, that I can do more.

Thankfully my sons are surrounded by good role models, but one of the most significant takeaways for me from the book is that my boys need the men in their life, particularly their father, to better verbalise their experience, opinions and feelings about relationships, sex and masculinity. Despite my best intentions, it will be the other men with whom they connect that will significantly shape their response to the situations raised in Boys & Sex, and my empathy is not a substitute for their shared experience.

I do feel Orenstein’s sampling for her research was quite small (100 young men), and very USA-centric, which meant for me there were elements I didn’t find directly relevant. Racial issues and the experience of college/university life differs here for example, also a Personal Development, Health, and Physical Education syllabus from years K-10 is compulsory in all public schools in Australia. In general this is a medically accurate, current, and inclusive program that explores physical, social and emotional aspects of sexuality in some detail (that abstinence-only is still a feature in any modern day curriculum is absurd). That said I do prefer the anecdotal approach Orenstein has taken, as scientific methodology tends to lack urgency and nuance.

I would recommend Boys & Sex to parents, and suggest it be shared and discussed with teens of both sexes, as both will benefit from the information. An extensive bibliography provides additional resources to ensure we raise “...our boys to be the men we know they can become.” ( )
  shelleyraec | Jul 31, 2020 |
Es mostren 1-5 de 7 (següent | mostra-les totes)
Peggy Orenstein is a reporter and an international bestselling author whose previous book is critically acclaimed 'Girls and sex navigating the complicated new landscape'. After its tremendous success, she found that talking about girls is just half the conversation. The troubles undergone by girls due to boys and the encouragement she got from parents of male children, she took the opportunity to investigate the mindset of over 100 boys between the age group 16 to 22 including homosexuals. The unfair , cruel treatment of girls in the hands of boys formed one of the major reasons to write this well researched book with an emphasis on emotional and mental health of young boys, and to also discuss about sexual ethics and healthy relationships.

Top health care advicers, doctors and professors have been conferred with by the author and they state their experiences and views about boys attitudes and a glimpse into their personality what exactly are they thinking about being a man and how they see their opposite gender, their hopes, insecurities, etc.

Some of the boys have gross views about sex and girls. One boy says his friends will admire him and kinda view him as hero with awe if he says, he fucked a girl for hours. Another boy says, he thinks girls will like boys if they are mean and act like assholes. There are many more myths. One boy says if he shares about his feelings or shows his emotions, it distances him from girls as they take this as unmanly. What are all these???? A genuine guy is a genuine guy. A bad guy is a bad guy. Similar for girls.

I got deeply shaken by a rape incident. A teenaged girl in USA was gang raped by a group of boys. She gave out the list of names to the police and filed a case against them. The lawyers of the rapists send a notice to her saying they are going to sue her for giving out their clients names. Later, they tell they found it to be hilarious. RAPE IS HILARIOUS????.

Dead baby joke is famous but why?. What is so funny about it? There is a creative solution to tweak the unserious behaviour of some people. If they are enlightened about the pain the baby felt and died a horrifying death each second, I resonate too, guys and girls will not say such sick, inhumane jokes.
Then there is porn. According to a report , men who watch it, they are opposed to equality of women -politically and professionally .Isn't it time to BAN it? It seems everyone likes it. Both men and women. Tough competition.

Hook up culture sounds like normal thing these days to youngsters but are they? No affection involved. No emotional intimacy. No chemistry. Nothing more than sex. Just sexual conquest with random people. Business like nature. What is this selfish trend? What is the purpose and where does this lead? Some good guys are against it though and commit to a single girl tenderly , lovingly, passionately and are emotionally invested in the relationship.

Majority of people living in European countries (both men and women) should be given a Ph. D for giving blow jobs to their partners with an exception of few. Can anyone mentally sound be proud of such an ugly act? Are these people brave enough to educate their children about the importance of giving blow jobs when their little ones get married? Will they imagine one day their children giving blow jobs? Disgusting. Wrong influencers. The way guys and girls are raised by parents and surroundings play a significant role I think.

If family and friends tell a guy he is a good person even when he forces a woman to have non-consensual sex , gropes her, he is not a rapist. He still views himself as good guy after what he has done because good guys too involve in sexual misconduct. Seriously? Some guys are totally sick. I felt empathetic for transgenders and gay men who were assaulted by people. It's a new era where family supports them but still social stigma they face hasn't subsided. The caring side of a good soul who respected their body really made my heart warm.

Sexual positivity and openness is the best part of this 21st century but very few differ to make a difference. Boys get raped too by girls and women. It is happening but most of them recover unlike girls who suffer hard. I have always thought men are insatiable sexually but it's a new century , women are too. Girls who are violated look for trust, care, security and intimacy in relationships while boys are hostile towards women. How true this information is?

When a woman is enthusiastic , overfriendly and kind, some poor material men born in corrupted family think she is sexually interested in him, approach her with lust , deceive and openly try to flirt with her, think they are his right to mess with. They can treat her anyway. If she is, wouldn't she just announce it? So men and women cannot be friends, brothers and sisters. Understood. Are these men , mind and heart readers? Idiots. A 'No' means 'No. I have faced this issue myself as a young woman. Glad to read about it. She will like any man but not him, a narcissist, beauty obsessed and sex addicts. In character, manner, style, TRUE EXCELLENCE is SIMPLICITY and MINDING ONE's OWN BUSINESS. Good men exist. I can name a few of them who are politically correct. There is 'FUCKBOY' feminist ( womaniser) who says all the right things to the girls yet in reality treats them badly. Anti-assault advocacy group should be opened in all institutions. Isn't it time?

The author has a daughter. I enormously wonder how she found the supreme courage to deal with the boys nasty attitude towards female, top of it all their 'Don't care policies, emotional suppression and no empathy' for female's pain. The other one from that will prove you having a daughter is widely risky whilst having a son , it takes immense responsibility to give out a decent, law abiding man. If the parents are materialistic and lack self-discipline, there is no warrant their offspring will turn into a good human. I realised however there were good boys who were frustrated with the ways , their male friends treated girls and viewed girls as an object for fun, manipulation, lust and sex, it was clearly evident , spirituality, the fear of God when they do wrong is missing which has resulted in ogreish behaviour. Many girls are no nuns themselves but many boys , have they become or glad to act like demons? Who should we blame? God's design? I am not able to choose sides still due to sexual violence on girls and women are visibly large and extremely gruesome, I believe the mess started with males fucked up mind only. What men are capable of everybody knows very well but women are also becoming competitive.
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"To understand girls and sex, we also need to talk about boys and sex. Today's young men are subject to the same cultural forces as their female peers. They are steeped in the distorted media images and binary stereotypes of female sexiness and toxic masculinity which shape how they, too, navigate sexual and emotional relationships. In [this book, the author] uses the same fascinating mix of anecdote and research to reveal how young men understand and negotiate the new rules of physical and emotional intimacy. Drawing on comprehensive interviews with young men, psychologists, academics, and experts in the field, [the author] takes an unprecedented look at the myriad factors that are shaping boys' ideas of sex, girls, and masculinity"--Provided by publisher.

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