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Raising Children Who Think for Themselves de…
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Raising Children Who Think for Themselves (edició 2001)

de Elisa Medhus

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1031202,984 (3.43)No n'hi ha cap
Raising Children Who Think for Themselves offers a new approach to parenting that has the power to reverse the trend of external direction in our children and help parents bring up empathetic, self-confident, moral, independent thinkers. Children who are externally directed make decisions based on the peer groups, violent movies, sexually explicit television shows, and rap lyrics that permeate their lives. When children are self-directed, on the other hand, they use their power of reason like a sword to cut through the jungle of external influences. Fortunately, the author shows us, it is never too late to foster in our children the ability to weigh options, consider sources, and think for themselves. Filled with real-life examples, humorous anecdotes, and countless interviews with parents, children, and teachers, Raising Children Who Think for Themselves Identifies the five essential qualities of self-directed children Outlines the seven strategies necessary for parents to develop these qualities in their children Addresses nearly one hundred child-raising challenges--from body piercing to whining wars--and offers solutions to help encourage self-direction… (més)
Membre:bazzak
Títol:Raising Children Who Think for Themselves
Autors:Elisa Medhus
Informació:Atria Books/Beyond Words (2001), Paperback, 304 pages
Col·leccions:Cognitive Guidance, La teva biblioteca
Valoració:
Etiquetes:No n'hi ha cap

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Raising Children Who Think for Themselves de Elisa Medhus

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Not as helpful as I wanted it to be. I extracted a few nuggets and blogged about them:

borrowed a copy of Raising Children Who Think for Themselves by Elisa Medhus, M.D. from Dandy's therapist because I picked it up and it just fell open to the section on sulking and pouting. Dr. Medhus has this to say:

Make it a rule that if your children try to get something by sulking or pouting, they definately won't get it under any circumstances.

Yup - that's what we do.

No sulkers or pouters allowed in your personal space. They have to take it elsewhere . . . (p. 258)

Yup - we do that too. I got so excited that I'm doing something right that I immediately read that portion aloud to Dandy. He did not seem as happy about it as I was, and in fact did not seem to think I should borrow the book. Funny boy.

The book did not live up to my expectation however, as it was written to a different audience. Over and over, Dr. Medhus asks questions along the lines of "How many times have we, as parents, done thus-and-so" where thus-and-so is some variation of a keeping up with the Joneses line of thought. Dr. Medhus assumes that we as parents are externally driven and often lost me thereby.

That being said, she did have some useful nuggets that I am going to capture by blogging them so that I can remember them later; my mind is a sieve these days.

Nugget #1 - instead of presents, ask for donations to the library, used or new books that we can read and then present to the local library (p. 146). This emphasizes experiences and sharing over possessing and keeping. Dandy obsesses over things, so I think this may be a good tool for him.

Nugget #2 - is The Level System (p. 117-118) which is actually for teens, but I can modify it for our family. In this system, everyone wakes up with full privileges and with each significant infraction loses a level of privileges, ending up at the bottom with only

. . . doing their schoolwork, completing their chores, eating at regular mealtime, trimming their toenails, and picking the lint out of their belly-button.

We've done something similar with chore camp (which grew out of boot camp). What I like about this variation is that we can post a list of house rules and a chart of privilege levels and then, when a rule is broken, matter-of-factly examine the chart and see what the consequences are. I like that I can be as laid-back about this as I am when I say "Oh I notice you are using your outside voice, please go outside (yawn)."

They can't spend all their energy railing against me when we have set it up as house-rules. I am merely the notification aide, not the sheriff, prosecuting attorney, judge, and jailer.

~Suzanne ( )
  chndlrs | Jul 30, 2008 |
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Raising Children Who Think for Themselves offers a new approach to parenting that has the power to reverse the trend of external direction in our children and help parents bring up empathetic, self-confident, moral, independent thinkers. Children who are externally directed make decisions based on the peer groups, violent movies, sexually explicit television shows, and rap lyrics that permeate their lives. When children are self-directed, on the other hand, they use their power of reason like a sword to cut through the jungle of external influences. Fortunately, the author shows us, it is never too late to foster in our children the ability to weigh options, consider sources, and think for themselves. Filled with real-life examples, humorous anecdotes, and countless interviews with parents, children, and teachers, Raising Children Who Think for Themselves Identifies the five essential qualities of self-directed children Outlines the seven strategies necessary for parents to develop these qualities in their children Addresses nearly one hundred child-raising challenges--from body piercing to whining wars--and offers solutions to help encourage self-direction

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