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Here Lies My Heart: Essays on Why We Marry, Why We Don't, and What We Find…

de Deborah Chasman (Editor), Catherine Jhee (Editor)

Altres autors: Joel Achenbach (Col·laborador), Amy Bloom (Pròleg), Lewis Buzbee (Col·laborador), Lynn Darling (Col·laborador), Louise DeSalvo (Col·laborador)16 més, Mark Doty (Col·laborador), Gerald Early (Col·laborador), Barbara Ehrenreich (Col·laborador), Cal Fussman (Col·laborador), Vivian Gornick (Col·laborador), Cynthia Heimel (Col·laborador), Amy Hempel (Col·laborador), Edward Hoagland (Col·laborador), Marjorie Ingall (Col·laborador), Kate Jennings (Col·laborador), Phillip Lopate (Col·laborador), Nancy Mairs (Col·laborador), David Mamet (Col·laborador), Willie Morris (Col·laborador), Katha Pollitt (Col·laborador), Rebecca Walker (Col·laborador)

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This book is for the once, never, and much married. For believers and skeptics, love's fools and love's thieves. It is for people with long memories and long histories and for people who reinvent themselves in every new town, new decade, new relationship. This book is for everyone whose heart lies where it should, where it shouldn't, and, in the end, where it must. -Amy Bloom, from the Foreword In these intensely personal essays, contemporary writers probe their experiences in and thoughts about one of our most enduring social and cultural institutions. Husbands and wives celebrate marriages that work, mourn those that don't, and write frankly about adultery. Includes essays by Mark Doty, Gerald Early, Barbara Ehrenreich, Cynthia Heimel, Vivian Gornick, Phillip Lopate, Nancy Mairs, and David Mamet.… (més)
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The essays in HERE LIES MY HEART (1999) give us an interesting variety of takes on the institution of marriage, as well as some very candid looks at divorce, cheating, adultery, forgiveness, etc. And from some very capable writers. Some of them are surprisingly moving, like Willie Morris, in the title piece, looking back decades later at his marriage, just out of college in Texas, how he and his bride went to Oxford, vacationed in Paris. An apartment in New York, a farmhouse in the country. How his career spiraled quickly upward and she became frustrated and angry. The marriage ended after ten years, but Morris never quite got over it. Indeed he never married again. After all the pain and anger and recriminations, he notes, "Finally I have learned how difficult love is, how hard to achieve and sustain, no matter who the person or how felicitous the circumstance."

"An Exile's Psalm" is Paul Doty's long poetic meditation on the loss of his long-time lover of twelve years, Wally, to AIDS, and his subsequent feelings of guilt and confusion at his good fortune in finding his new lover, Paul, a couple years later. (I'm not sure if gay marriage was legal anywhere in 1999.)

"On Living Alone" is Vivian Gornick's various feelings about an early marriage, a divorce, years of loneliness, of being "a walker in the city," and, finally, a platonic arrangement of living with another woman, a friend, to simply assuage the feelings of isolation.

One piece that decidedly dates the book is Joel Achenbach's "Homeward Bound," in which he cites Bill Cosby as a role model who got the formula right -

"You go home. You find little things to cherish. You have a favorite chair. You develop a coffee ritual, a storybook ritual, some running jokes."

Hmm... Too bad Cosby didn't stick to that formula. Although Achenbach also says - and this was almost twenty years ago, mind you:"Perhaps there were times when Cos didn't quite make it home." Indeed.

Another particular favorite here is Kate Jennings's "For Better or Worse." She's very hard-edged and realistic about her marriage, at nearly forty to a twice-divorced man twenty-five years older. She jokes wryly about actuarial tables and "reading the obituary page" more regularly. But she finds that an older husband is "extraordinarily supportive," and that "With age, the need in them to be cock of the walk has diminished." Summing up her decision to marry, she says -

"It is a job of work … there is something daffy about the whole enterprise."

Twenty separate pieces here, and something to gnaw on in every one. Like I said - a wide variety of viewpoints about marriage, fidelity, divorce and more here. Well worth the read, even twenty years late. I enjoyed it.

- Tim Bazzett, author of the memoir, BOOKLOVER ( )
  TimBazzett | Jun 2, 2018 |
Picked this up because I recognized several names and it's an interesting topic. As others have said, though, it's not well-balanced. Either needed more contributions from the unmarried or a different subtitle. The first half dozen or so pieces seemed too short and/or disjointed to accomplish anything, which is odd when you discover that they were deliberately chosen for re-publication here rather than being commissioned new and done half-heartedly. But the collection improved from there. And as the editor said, the final piece by Lynn Darling is stunning. ( )
  kristenn | Jan 10, 2010 |
enjoyable. the foreword among the best essays in the book. i read it quickly, so i might have liked it. some more, some less. mostly more. ( )
  bookscentlover | Dec 17, 2009 |
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» Afegeix-hi altres autors

Nom de l'autorCàrrecTipus d'autorObra?Estat
Chasman, DeborahEditorautor primaritotes les edicionsconfirmat
Catherine JheeEditorautor principaltotes les edicionsconfirmat
Achenbach, JoelCol·laboradorautor secundaritotes les edicionsconfirmat
Bloom, AmyPròlegautor secundaritotes les edicionsconfirmat
Buzbee, LewisCol·laboradorautor secundaritotes les edicionsconfirmat
Darling, LynnCol·laboradorautor secundaritotes les edicionsconfirmat
DeSalvo, LouiseCol·laboradorautor secundaritotes les edicionsconfirmat
Doty, MarkCol·laboradorautor secundaritotes les edicionsconfirmat
Early, GeraldCol·laboradorautor secundaritotes les edicionsconfirmat
Ehrenreich, BarbaraCol·laboradorautor secundaritotes les edicionsconfirmat
Fussman, CalCol·laboradorautor secundaritotes les edicionsconfirmat
Gornick, VivianCol·laboradorautor secundaritotes les edicionsconfirmat
Heimel, CynthiaCol·laboradorautor secundaritotes les edicionsconfirmat
Hempel, AmyCol·laboradorautor secundaritotes les edicionsconfirmat
Hoagland, EdwardCol·laboradorautor secundaritotes les edicionsconfirmat
Ingall, MarjorieCol·laboradorautor secundaritotes les edicionsconfirmat
Jennings, KateCol·laboradorautor secundaritotes les edicionsconfirmat
Lopate, PhillipCol·laboradorautor secundaritotes les edicionsconfirmat
Mairs, NancyCol·laboradorautor secundaritotes les edicionsconfirmat
Mamet, DavidCol·laboradorautor secundaritotes les edicionsconfirmat
Morris, WillieCol·laboradorautor secundaritotes les edicionsconfirmat
Pollitt, KathaCol·laboradorautor secundaritotes les edicionsconfirmat
Walker, RebeccaCol·laboradorautor secundaritotes les edicionsconfirmat
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This book is for the once, never, and much married. For believers and skeptics, love's fools and love's thieves. It is for people with long memories and long histories and for people who reinvent themselves in every new town, new decade, new relationship. This book is for everyone whose heart lies where it should, where it shouldn't, and, in the end, where it must. -Amy Bloom, from the Foreword In these intensely personal essays, contemporary writers probe their experiences in and thoughts about one of our most enduring social and cultural institutions. Husbands and wives celebrate marriages that work, mourn those that don't, and write frankly about adultery. Includes essays by Mark Doty, Gerald Early, Barbara Ehrenreich, Cynthia Heimel, Vivian Gornick, Phillip Lopate, Nancy Mairs, and David Mamet.

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