This novel follows a Peruvian girl, Veronica. She was born with hip dysplasia and is unable to do a lot of things physically. Her only escape and comfort is swimming. She tries out to be a professional mermaid, something her parents highly disapprove of.
This book discussed great themes of worth and following your dreams, was a great representation of self-esteem and representation of people with disabilities and looking at the struggles they face in day-to-day life.
While this novel has some truly fantastic components, I would not be comfortable sharing this book with my students. It discusses some very adult themes that I do not personally believe should be featured in a book for YOUNG adults. Additionally, I really didn't enjoy the way the main character victimizes herself while villanizing her parents for doing the best they know how to do. I didn't think it encourages healthy behaviors or thought processes. This book is likely for 8th graders - high schoolers, but I would probably not teach with this book personally. ( )

Veronica has hip dysplasia, which means she’s had a bunch of surgeries, can’t walk as long or as far as other teens, and has scars that she tries to hide. She also has parents who are very strict, a situation made worse when she’s caught in the apartment complex hot tub making out with a boy. And she both hates that they immediately assumed she would have ‘gone all the way’ if they hadn’t walked in at that moment and suspects that they, in fact, prevented the boy from raping her by doing so. She also feels that she has no say in her medical care, as her doctor tends to talk past her and directly to her parents about the progression of her condition and what the next steps should be. Swimming is the only thing that allows her to feel free and completely in control. So when auditions are announced for the mermaid show she has long dreamed of being a part of (but of which her parents strongly disapprove, of course) – and when a new boy moves into the complex and sparks fly between the two of them – Veronica must decide between obeying her parents and demanding the body autonomy she (and all women everywhere) deserve.

I *loved* this YA novel, both for the interesting storyline and its unique and important portrayal of consent, why it’s vital, and how it’s not just about sex. Veronica and her boyfriend are interesting and nicely developed characters, who both struggle both with the usual Teen Stuff and also mental and physical issues in a realistic, relatable way without too much angst. Highly recommended. ( )

Breathe and Count Back from Ten. By Natalia Sylvester. (May 10, 2022) Clarion Books.An Imprint of HarperCollins. First edition, 352 pages. ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 0358536863 ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-0358536864 PZ7 .S994 B 2022 AURA Reading age ‏ : ‎ 13 years and up Grade level ‏ : ‎ 8 - 9 AURA - IB
Box 2 Part 2 - Entry #97

Originally posted on Just Geeking by.

Ever since I heard about Breathe and Count back from Ten last year it has been on my radar, and I was so excited to read it. It is a novel about a young woman with hip dysplasia written by an author who has the same condition! This is one #ownvoices novel you do not want to miss.

Content warnings:
As to be expected in a book with a protagonist with a chronic health condition there are several medical scenes, scenes at hospitals, and throughout the book pain, medical procedures, surgery, and living with chronic health conditions are discussed, often in detail. This may be uncomfortable or triggering for some people especially those who have conditions that affect their hips. I’m saying this with respect and from experience because I was suffering from a pain flare up which affected my hips at the time (however, I also felt that it made reading the book that much more of a personal experience too).

Depression is talked about openly, as is the treatment for it. The way a character describes feeling may make people with mental health conditions feel uncomfortable or triggered due to how accurate it is (again, I am talking from experience as someone with depression).

There are various scenes featuring ableist behaviour with lots of comments aimed at how the protagonist’s body looks and moves. There are scenes that deal with the topic of a disabled person’s control over their own body, decisions and medical choices, especially the relationship between parent and disabled child. While the protagonist does not appear to suffer from medical trauma, I feel that readers with medical trauma especially linked to childhood may find some of these scenes unsettling.

There is a flashback scene involving the protagonist and a boy in a hot tub that the protagonist deconstructs, realising that the boy had taken her silence as a confirmation. They were interrupted before things could go any further, but an assault or at least something that the protagonist would not have been comfortable with is strongly suggested.

Verónica is a typical teenager who just happens to be disabled. She worries about boys, she worries about her protective parents finding her with boys and embarrassing her. She is thinking about where she wants to go to college, and she loves mermaids. When a spot to become a mermaid at the local underwater tourist attraction suddenly becomes available right in time for a summer job, especially when she’s not been able to secure one yet, it seems like fate. The problem is that her parents don’t approve for multiple reasons, least of all because of her chronic health condition. She has to weigh up the choice of going against them, lying about it and creating more problems for herself or following her heart and trusting that she knows the strength of her own body.

Breathe and Count back from Ten is a beautiful account of being born with a disability, living with it and how people around you react to it. Verónica’s love of mermaids began during her time recovering from a surgery when she was a child. Her voice is clear throughout the book. She talks openly and concisely about having hip dysplasia, about what that means to her on a daily basis and what it felt like for her as a child recovering from surgery. She didn’t just fall in love with the sight of the mermaids during the show, she associated their tails with her how her whole body was in a cast. It is observations like this and reading Verónica’s thought process that makes this book truly special.

At the top of each chapter is a dictionary definition of a word followed by Verónica’s own definition, a process that she began after a therapist suggested she try it. It immerses us further into her world, giving us a glimpse of how she has grown up viewing the world. That is a very powerful writing tactic that Sylvester has chosen to use, and I couldn’t help but feel my heart squeezing when I read some of Verónica’s definitions. It is a very lonely world being a teenager and even more so when your body is different to everyone else’s. Teenagers are the first ones to point out differences and nothing escapes their notice, something that Sylvester shows with unnerving accuracy several times in Breathe and Count back from Ten.

There is no sugar coating in Breathe and Count back from Ten. Verónica’s life is one with pain, with nasty comments, stares from everyone she comes into contact with, being a teenager with scars on your body, overbearing parents, and growing up with a “normal” sibling. Despite all that, this isn’t a feel sorry for yourself book and anyone expecting it to be needs to spend some time with a real disabled person for two minutes. This is a story about living life, of finding love (and it is a beautiful love story), of best friends, and taking control of your life and your body. It’s also about growing up and taking that step into the future, that leap into the unknown.

Aside from Verónica’s hip dysplasia there is also a male character with depression, and I’m highlighting this because not only do we need more authentic mental health representation, but also it’s very rare to see a male character portrayed with mental health. There’s also Peruvian representation (Verónica and her family) and LGBTQIA representation.

For more of my reviews please visit my blog! ( )

Seventeen-year-old Peruvian-American Veró lives with her parents and younger sister Dani in Florida. Veró has hip dysplasia and has had several surgeries; swimming is her best exercise and also her refuge. She has always loved Mermaid Cove and dreams of being a mermaid there, like her best friend Leslie's older sister Tanya, but when auditions open, Veró knows her parents won't let her try out - they are overprotective and try to control everything she does with her body, but they don't listen to her very well. Alex, on the other hand, new to their apartment complex, listens and understands. Veró decides to take control of her own life, working as a mermaid and learning more about her hip dysplasia.

Quotes

My whole life, it's been this: smile, be agreeable, don't make others uncomfortable, no matter how wrong it feels. (35)

Mami and Papi swear they know what's best for me, but how can they? My body has all these quirks and conditions no one understands but me.....people say they want to accommodate me...[but] they rarely listen to what I really want; they just assume they know what I need. (63)

Here, it seems everyone gets to be whole but me. (111)

"And you're numb in the places that hurt." (Alex to Verónica, 149)

"Blades have a handle." (152)

No one's trying to pretend they don't know real from fantasy. They're just choosing to believe anyways. (re: Mermaid Cove, 185)

Some days the waves are what carry me. Some days the waves overtake me. I can never forecast which is which until it's too late. (197)

I will always betray their wishes for my deepest wants, the things I dare to desire. (213)

[Anesthesia is] actually a controlled death.
Not much different from a controlled life.
A risk no matter which you choose. (214)

The only thing I know for sure is that Papi's idea of my going too far is just me daring to live my life on my terms. (294)

But how long can you hide the same part of yourself before realizing you've never once felt whole? (305) ( )