To understand Any Other Family by Eleanor Brown, perhaps start with the author's note. The author is an adoptive parent and has learned about the world of adoption through their personal journey. Going back and forth between the perspective of the women, the book tells the story of family and the love and hard work that holds a family - any family - together. As a parent myself, I relate to both the love and the work, and I appreciate the my improved understanding of the open adoption process.

Read my complete review at http://www.memoriesfrombooks.com/2023/10/any-other-family.html

Reviewed for NetGalley. ( )

This is a story about a young woman who keeps getting pregnant and who doesn't want to parent her children. The families who adopt her kids decide to create one large family, including the birth mother, so that the children will grow up knowing their siblings. The relationships among the adults in this family are fraught with resentment and secrets, and it isn't until everything explodes during a family vacation that the situation is addressed. I did feel that the resolution at the end came a little too quickly and didn't seem wholly realistic. Still, it was an interesting concept and a good read. The author herself adopted her son, so she knows the subject matter. ( )

Hoo boy, was this a reading rollercoaster! I spent the first half of the novel wishing I had a physical copy to rip in half and pitch across the room, and then I suddenly adjusted to the very middle class faux family and finished the book in a day. My problem was personal, however, and thus the reason I have given four stars to a book that raised such a negative reaction: I don't have children and do not want them, either biological or adopted, so once again I think I got on the wrong bus here, but I wanted to learn more about 'open adoption'. Eleanor Brown is an author reminiscent of Anne Tyler, very character driven, and I fell effortlessly in with her fictional parents and the summer vacation from hell. Two of the women, and the 'family' arrangement as a whole, however, drove me mad.

Brianna, the birth 'mom', had her first child at fourteen and understandably, given that the conception was statutory rape, wasn't able to care for her daughter, who went to Brianna's mother. She then had twins four years later, to the same deadbeat dad, and whoops! wasn't ready to care for those kids either, so grandma took on two more babies. Unfortunately, grandma then died and left three young kids with only an idiot mother and absent father - until social services stepped in and put them up for adoption. Eldest daughter Phoebe goes to one of her teachers, Ginger, while the twins are snapped up by wealthy micromanager Tabitha and placid husband Perry. Dumbass Brianna of course still hasn't learned the concept of contraception, and five or six years later, hooks up with the same guy - is the woman a goldfish, seriously? - and plans to parent the next baby herself. Until history repeats, dad absconds, and another baby is up for adoption, because apparently abortion is not an option. Young couple Elizabeth and John, who have bankrupted themselves on years of IVF but can't have children, run into Tabitha, literally, who suggests them as adoptive parents for baby Violet. They take the baby on, but the stress of a collicky new born almost breaks Elizabeth, who realises that she is not a natural mother and can't cope with any more children. The three adoptive parents vow to form a larger 'family' for the sake of the children, mostly at the instigation of Tabitha, the group control freak, and go on holiday together in Aspen - when guess who calls with an announcement?

Oi vey. I wanted to shove a cork up Brianna and push Tabitha off a picturesque mountain after the first few chapters. Firstly, in the words of eldest child Phoebe, “So if she doesn’t want to be a parent, then how come she keeps getting pregnant?” And the way we're supposed to love the silly cow as much as much as the other mothers - or Tabitha, at least - was infuriating. I'm guessing Brianna's blasé attitude to parental responsibility was supposed to be a more sympathetic case than rescuing the kids from a darker biological background, but I just found the circumstances unbelievable.

Secondly, all of the mothers have issues and a detailed psychological resume to explain why. So Tabitha is controlling and interfering because, in the words of Elizabeth (one of my favourite characters), she is an only child and 'harped endlessly about how terrible it was, like she’d grown up in a workhouse in a Dickens novel'. Elizabeth refuses to adopt another baby because she was neglected and bullied as the youngest child and now thinks she isn't a good mother. Ginger wants to keep Phoebe in a childhood bubble because she is an introvert who prefers to 'stay inside with a book for the sake of the environment' and hates change. I mean, I get the message, but the lesson I learned was that none of these women should be let loose around kids! Tabitha riled me the most, though, and I didn't feel sorry for her when the other women finally snapped and served her with a few home truths (of course they all later apologise and realise how alike they are and how Everybody Needs Tabitha).

Sarcastic Elizabeth and introspective Ginger saved my sanity, I will admit, especially Elizabeth's scathing if somewhat biased take on Brianna: 'Hasn’t anyone ever talked to her about condoms? Why is it that she won’t have an abortion? Does she have to be the saint of all fertility? Jesus Fucking Christ.' I felt their frustration over Tabitha's vacation, which never seemed to end, and her perfect middle class lifestyle (crudités and educational toys, etc). Elizabeth even meets Tabitha by crashing into her SUV. I also enjoyed Eleanor Brown's writing, which is very soothing and far too convincing in places! (I most definitely don't regret being childfree!) I am just clearly not the intended demographic, although I did learn a lot about 'open adoption', which was I think the author's goal. A frustrating but thought-provoking read! ( )

From the author of The Weird Sisters, Eleanor Brown has written a novel about adoption. Three families have adopted four children, which includes a set of twins, from the same biological parents. They are committed to keeping the children as connected as possible. As they decide to spend their first vacation together, the close quarters allow tensions to grow. Then, they receive a call from the children's birth mother announcing she's pregnant again. First of all, we've all been told not to judge a book by its cover...but I do, all the time! This cover is beautiful and this is a hopeful book which is just what I needed!!! ( )

Main questions not answered. Interesting concept of family ( )