I don't know Jennette McCurdy from anything, never watched iCarly but this was such a powerful read. So many adults were in this girls life that were failing at being the adultiest adult.

I am so glad our generation is taking the approach that mental health needs to be talked about. These child actors need a voice, and Jennette taking the step to tell her story gives so many a voice. I hope that people like her, taking the brave task to bare all their trials, will make the entire industry of child actors a safer place.

Parents forcing their children into this life needs to be called out. Studios keeping not-safe adults on set just because 'they are brilliant' needs to be called out. How much money have these studios made off the backs of kids that have grown up into unstable adults needing to heal from their childhood? Is is really impossible to create great media, while also not destroying the person behind the camera? Personally, I think Hollywood is long over due for an overhaul.

Jennette's story is so relatable, even if you take out all the acting and just focus on her family life. So many kids deal with narcissist parents, and I hope they read this book and it's the first door to them realizing that it's okay to be glad their mom died.

Blood does not mean you have to tolerate anyone. Create boundaries, and be proud of them. ( )

Content warning for abuse, assault, eating disorders, substance abuse, and probably other things I'm forgetting.

I had no idea who Jennette McCurdy was, prior to reading this. Although I did watch Nickelodeon growing up, I'm old enough that iCarly wasn't one of the shows I watched. I googled it a bit while reading this book, and I still think the "buttersock" thing sounds bizarre.

I read this for several reasons: 1) It seems to be pretty popular right now (which, true, would usually make me pass it by), 2) some folks at work were talking about it and got me interested, and 3) that title. Even then, I worried it'd be a bit of a slog. I don't normally gravitate towards memoirs.

There's a quote on the cover that calls this book "Impressively funny." Add the title and, not knowing anything about McCurdy, I thought this might be a dark humor book. I could imagine potential readers flinching away from it, perhaps thinking it mean-spirited.

I did not expect that a book with a title like this one would begin with McCurdy and her brothers crying at their mother's bedside while she was in a coma. But here's the thing: there's a lot packed into the title. It represents years of horrible experiences, as well as hard-won efforts at healing that almost certainly wouldn't have been possible without McCurdy's mother's death.

McCurdy's mother had wanted to be an actress, but her parents disapproved. Instead of being inspired to encourage her daughter's aspirations, she forced her own goals onto her daughter. She made her children watch footage from the time she was diagnosed with cancer and critiqued their emotional reactions - good children would have been properly grief-stricken, and 2-year-old McCurdy's was therefore clearly not a good daughter. McCurdy grew up with her mother as the focus of her world. Even her personal preferences, like her favorite color or preferred ice cream flavor, were determined based on what would make her mother most happy.

Some moments were utterly horrifying. When McCurdy was 11, her mother basically taught her how to have an eating disorder, leading to years of anorexia and then bulimia. Also, she wouldn't let her wash her own hair, and she would do breast and genital "checks" on McCurdy in the shower. I believe McCurdy was 16 during the one described in this book.

In addition to the stuff about McCurdy's mother, Nickelodeon doesn't come off looking great. From the sounds of things, the Creator (whose name is easy enough to look up, but I'll refer to him the way McCurdy did in her book) should have been ousted many years earlier than he was.

I was not expecting this to be so compulsively readable, even as parts of it made my skin crawl. I'm glad that McCurdy was able to get to the point where she could recognize the damage that had been done to her and start to heal.

(Original review posted on A Library Girl's Familiar Diversions.) ( )

Listened to the audio book, which was narrated by the author. This book takes you deep into eating disorders and unhealthy relationships. This was a raw, uncomfortable, but fascinating story. I hope the author continues to heal and finds peace. ( )

Wow that was a rollercoaster of emotions ( )

I was familiar with Jennette McCurdy from our kids having watched iCarly. There is a lot of talk about this book. I wanted to know what was up.

She reads the audiobook. Her mother was diagnosed with cancer when Jennetter was two. Her cancer returned when Jennette was 11 years old. She died when Jennette was 21. During Jennette's life, her mother was overbearing and abusive; she pushed her into an acting career at age 6. Her mother was also a hoarder. Jennette came to the realization that her relationship with her mother was abusive. She also had to face her own emotional problems that likely arose because of her mother.

It is not an uplifting book. While Jennette seems to have begun a path to healing, her past will always be a difficult part of her life. She did a good job of conveying the information she set out to convey. ( )