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The Relationship Cure

de John Gottman

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478451,226 (3.82)Cap
From the country's foremost relationship expert and New York Times bestselling author Dr. John M. Gottman comes a powerful, simple five-step program, based on twenty years of innovative research, for greatly improving all of the relationships in your life--with spouses and lovers, children, siblings, and even your colleagues at work. Gottman provides the tools you need to make your relationships thrive. In The Relationship Cure, Dr. Gottman: - Reveals the key elements of healthy relationships, emphasizing the importance of what he calls "emotional connection" - Introduces the powerful new concept of the emotional "bid," the fundamental unit of emotional connection - Provides remarkably empowering tools for improving the way you bid for emotional connection and how you respond to others' bids - And more! Packed with fascinating questionnaires and exercises developed in his therapy, The Relationship Cure offers a simple but profound program that will fundamentally transform the quality of all of the relationships in your life.… (més)
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Es mostren totes 4
I thought this book's central idea was/is life-changing, but the delivery was so-so.

Basically, the idea is that we're continuously making 'bids for connection' with others. This could be questions, words, actions, literally anything where we're, in part, saying "connect with me".

When we get such a bid, we can accept it, reject it, or ignore it. Accepting makes the relationship stronger and happier. Rejecting makes the relationship worse, but still leaves it emotionally engaged. Ignoring makes the relationship worse and less emotionally engaged.

Sometimes we get a bid for connection that's attached to something irrelevant (eg "Do you like the cookies I made?" yes-> you accept me, no -> you reject me). In that scenario, we can say "I accept you but reject the thing" (eg "I don't want the cookies, but you're great")

Understanding that people are basically doing this all the time and learning how to navigate it has changed the way I interact with people... but, again, the book itself is just kinda so-so, hence the low-ish rating.

Oh, and most importantly, this isn't just some author's pet theory. Everything in here is backed by inordinate amounts of science and even math and game theory. I've gone through some more of Gottman's books and the foundations are incredibly thorough. ( )
  nimishg | Apr 12, 2023 |
Nothing too new. But still good advice. I'm not sure if I like the worksheets. ( )
  OutOfTheBestBooks | Sep 24, 2021 |
John Gottman, a psychologist and leading researcher in relationships, offers an empirically supported program for improving relationships of all kinds.
  IRR | Aug 25, 2010 |
This is the best book on relationships I have ever read -- a truly impressive tour-de-force. John Gottman has discovered the Rosetta Stone of relationships. He has decoded the subtle secrets contained in our moment-to-moment communications. By introducing the simple yet amazingly powerful concept of the "bid," he provides a remarkable set of tools for relationship repair. By the middle of the second chapter you're likely to say to yourself, "Oh, so that's what's happening in my relationship with my partner (or colleague, boss, or sister), and now I know what to do about it."
-- Daniel B. Wile, Ph.D., ( )
1 vota LTW | Sep 2, 2006 |
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Wikipedia en anglès (1)

From the country's foremost relationship expert and New York Times bestselling author Dr. John M. Gottman comes a powerful, simple five-step program, based on twenty years of innovative research, for greatly improving all of the relationships in your life--with spouses and lovers, children, siblings, and even your colleagues at work. Gottman provides the tools you need to make your relationships thrive. In The Relationship Cure, Dr. Gottman: - Reveals the key elements of healthy relationships, emphasizing the importance of what he calls "emotional connection" - Introduces the powerful new concept of the emotional "bid," the fundamental unit of emotional connection - Provides remarkably empowering tools for improving the way you bid for emotional connection and how you respond to others' bids - And more! Packed with fascinating questionnaires and exercises developed in his therapy, The Relationship Cure offers a simple but profound program that will fundamentally transform the quality of all of the relationships in your life.

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