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Co-dependent No More

de Melody Beattie

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2,156245,985 (3.81)18
Where recovery begins for many people, this inspiring, straightforward, personal explanation of what codependency is and who has it gives listeners the option to change unhealthy behaviors and stressful relationships, as they rediscover hope, guidance, and encouragement.
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Es mostren 1-5 de 24 (següent | mostra-les totes)
I have attended groups for codependents for several years, and this book always came highly recommended. I think that due to my experience in the groups, I knew a lot of what was already stated in the book. I found it really broad, and skimmed pages halfway through, looking for new information. I'm still a codependent and there's room for improvement, but--the exercises she lists are not part of my life. It's no one person, right now. She sings the praises of twelve-step groups, which are a narrow slice of what can be done to battle addiction and codependency. This was Codependents 101, and I'm past that. She tries to joke, and the jokes come off as mean-spirited due to the tone of the rest of the book and the seriousness of its content (or what it tries to achieve, anyway). If readers don't believe in the divinity of Jesus or the existence, feel free to skip several chapters and paragraphs. One of the author's answers to codependency is literally to pray it away, especially to Jesus or a male, Christianized figure because she does and therefore it should fix everyone's life. I am an observant Jew who doesn't believe that, and was annoyed at her preaching. She tried and failed to hide her utter lack of respect for atheists or agnostics. A book where an author tries to fix every codependent ever in a narrow way is not a place to show disdain for people who don't believe what the author does, yet here readers are.
So, this is a beginner's guide for devout Christians. I am not that, so I didn't get much out of the book. The checklist at the beginning was long but informative, and the stories did help to contextualize. That's why I gave the book three stars. I intend to read at least a dozen other books on codependency, and am hoping for other viewpoints. ( )
  iszevthere | Jun 24, 2022 |
I'm not the target audience for this. But! This book is for people who, for whatever reason, are attracted people with problems. I call them "fixers." Again, not me (I'm too lazy) but soooo many people I know. And, therefore, this book was fascinating.

It was told partially from the author's (a recovering codependent) point of view and that helped me understand the logic and the reasoning behind the problem. And it's so logical. So helpful and interesting. ( )
  OutOfTheBestBooks | Sep 24, 2021 |
> Comment reconnaître et maîtriser les processus de la dépendance à une drogue, au travail ou à autrui. --Pocket

> Babelio : https://www.babelio.com/livres/Beattie-Vaincre-la-codependance/308641
  Joop-le-philosophe | Dec 8, 2020 |
How to untangle yourself from your own needs in a relationship and start being nice to yourself. ( )
  jefware | Nov 3, 2019 |
The healing touchstone of millions, this modern classic by one of America's best-loved and most inspirational authors holds the key to understanding codependency and to unlocking its stultifying hold on your life.
  StFrancisofAssisi | Sep 24, 2019 |
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Nom de l'autorCàrrecTipus d'autorObra?Estat
Beattie, MelodyAutorautor primaritotes les edicionsconfirmat
Moore, ChristinaNarradorautor secundarialgunes edicionsconfirmat
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It is not easy to find happiness in ourselves, and it is not possible to find it elsewhere. --Agnes Repplier, The Treasure Chest
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For helping make this book possible, I think: God, my mother, David, my children, Scott Egleston, Sharon George, Joanne Marcuson, and all the codependent people who have learned from me and allowed me to learn from them.

This book is dedicated to me.
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Me emme pysty muuttamaan ihmisiä. Kaikki yritykset kontrolloida heitä on kuvitelma, harhakuvitelma. Ihmiset joko vastustavat yrityksiämme tai kaksinkertaistavat ponnistuksensa osoittaakseen, ettemme voi hallita heitä. He voivat mukautua vaatimuksiimme väliaikaisesti, mutta heti kun käännämme selkämme, he palaavat luonnolliseen olotilaansa. Sitä paitsi ihmiset rankaisevat meitä siitä, että pakotamme heidät tekemään jotain vasten tahtoaan, tai olemaan jotain, mitä he eivät halua olla. Vahvinkaan kontrolli ei aiheuta pysyvää tai toivomaamme muutosta toisessa henkilössä. Voimme joskus tehdä jotain, mikä lisää mahdollisuutta, että henkilö haluaa muuttua, mutta sitäkään emme voi taata emmekä hallita.

*** Ja tämä on totuus. Valitettavasti. Sitä on joskus vaikea hyväksyä, varsinkin jos rakastamasi henkilö vahingoittaa itseään ja sinua. Mutta näin se on. Ainoa henkilö, jota voit muuttaa nyt tai koskaan, olet sinä itse. Ainoa henkilö, jota sinun asiasi on kontrolloida, olet sinä itse. Irroittaudu. Luovuta.

(...)

*** Jokaiselle meistä tulee aika, jolloin täytyy päästää irti. Tiedät, milloin se aika on tullut. Kun olet tehnyt kaiken voitavasi, on aika irrottautua. Käsitellä omia tunteitasi. Käsitellä omia tunteitasi kontrollin menettämisestä. Ruveta hallitsemaan itseäsi ja vastuullasi olevia asioita. Antaa muille vapaus olla oma itsensä. Näin tehdessäsi vapautat itsesi.
~The sun was shining and it was a beautiful day when I met him. Then everything went crazy. – Georgianne, married to an alcoholic~
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Where recovery begins for many people, this inspiring, straightforward, personal explanation of what codependency is and who has it gives listeners the option to change unhealthy behaviors and stressful relationships, as they rediscover hope, guidance, and encouragement.

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