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Say When (2003)

de Elizabeth Berg

MembresRessenyesPopularitatValoració mitjanaMencions
8182226,590 (3.49)8
When is a marriage worth saving and when is it best to let go? When do half-truths turn into full-blown lies? When does betrayal end and passion begin?Say When is a compelling, complex novel that takes readers into the heart of a modern marriage where companionship and intimacy, and denial and pain, so often collide. "Of course he knew she was seeing someone," begins the story of Frank Griffin, a man who's willing to overlook his wife's infidelity--he would let her have this, this thrilling little romance--for the sake of keeping his family intact. But when the forty-year-old Ellen requests a divorce on the basis that she has finally found true, romantic love, Griffin must decide whether to fight or flee...or search elsewhere for the kind of life he always dreamed of.With Elizabeth Berg's trademark blend of rare insight, raw emotion, and hard-won wisdom, Say When is a work of startling revelation that no reader will soon forget.… (més)
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From Publishers Weekly:Husbands frequently tune out their spouses, but Frank Griffin makes valiant attempts to ignore Ellen, his wife of 10 years, when she announces she has a lover and wants a divorce in this endearing, undemanding novel by Berg (True to Form, etc.). Griffin (he goes by his last name) struggles to hold on to his normal life-namely his house and his eight-year-old daughter, Zoe-while repairing his relationship with Ellen. Refreshingly, Berg tells the story from Griffin's point of view: he refuses to leave home, insisting that he and Ellen live as roommates, and tries to wear her down with small acts of kindness. A decent man and a good provider, Griffin is also-he comes to realize-a less-than-exciting partner at times, dismissive of his wife's attempts to get him to read poetry and see art movies, or try anything new at all. Eccentric, shy Ellen, an isolated, stay-at-home mother whose only friend is the waitress at her regular diner, has her own flaws. In trying to live out her adolescence 20-plus years too late, she flaunts her new romance in ways that evoke either disdain or pity for her navetƒ. Some readers may feel she gives up her quest for more freedom too quickly; others will appreciate the way she explores her complicated feelings about her marriage. Griffin, meanwhile, makes changes, too, trying a stint as a shopping mall Santa and winning a few dates. Berg has a talent for dialogue, and her skillfully crafted interactions between characters-scenes with tomboy Zoe are always a bright spot-are homey and convincing. These days, separation and divorce are commonplace, but a book that treats those subjects with Berg's tenderness and understanding is not.
  bentstoker | Jan 26, 2024 |
Book on CD narrated by David Colacci


“I think our marriage is like a house we stopped using.”

Griffin is happy; he has a satisfying job, a beautiful wife, Ellen, a delightful daughter, Zoe, and a nice home in a Chicago suburb. But one morning he awakens, and Ellen tells him she has decided they should divorce.

I love how Berg writes about relationships. There are a lot of ups and downs here as the characters navigate the aftermath of Ellen’s stated wishes. Griffin is the narrator, so we get less of Ellen’s thinking than of his, but we still learn something of what led to her decision.

I admit to going back and forth in my loyalties to these two characters. I was sometimes in Griffin’s camp, and sometimes in Ellen’s. (And always in Zoe’s.) As in real life, no one is completely at fault, and no one is completely blameless. They have both gone along with the status quo without really seeing one another or exploring what they really want from the relationship and from life.

There are some heartbreaking scenes, and some very humorous ones (Griffin deciding to get a part-time job as a mall Santa leads to many of these).

The audiobook is narrated by David Colacci, who does a fine job of it. ( )
  BookConcierge | Aug 23, 2023 |
I really liked this book and will be looking for more by this author. Why? Well, the characters were very well developed and complex. Everything that happened seemed so real....like I was hearing from friends about their relationships. The author is able to convey strong emotions through dialogue and the simple interactions or everyday life.

Ellen is unhappy in her marriage and has an affair. Griffin suspects she is doing so, but says nothing. He is very much in love with her, and hopes this will blow over. But things aren't as simple as he wishes they were, and Ellen's unhappiness is deeper than he understood (or noticed?) They separate but both remain strongly involved in their seven-year-old daughter's life and very concerned about her wellbeing. ( )
  LynnB | Jun 17, 2023 |
Elizabeth Berg is one of those guilty pleasures of reading for me. First read her book, TALK BEFORE SLEEP, more than 20 yrs ago. Then my wife read it. We both loved it, so went to the library and found a few of her earlier books, which we equally enjoyed. So now you know. I'm an Elizabeth Berg fan. I half-think of her as the queen of "chick-lit," but she's really better than that. Witness this book, SAY WHEN, a really moving little novel about a ten-year marriage gone astray - two forty-ish people - a husband who has grown too complacent in the simple pleasures of marriage, and a wife who feels unfulfilled, unappreciated. It's not a new theme, certainly, but Berg gives it her own special tweaks & touches - the financial consultant husband, Griffin, taking a part-time job as Santa; the wife, Ellen, having a fling with a much younger man, moving out when Griffin refuses to, and taking a job as a waitress; a precocious and wise 8 yr-old daughter, Zoe, caught in the middle. Okay, there's probably nothing really new in a story like this, but Berg somehow catches you up in these people's lives, makes you wince and chuckle, makes you care, makes you keep reading. Call me a wuss, reading women's books, but dammit, I loved this story. Oh, and by the way, she tells the story from the guy's POV, and most convincingly. Bravo, Ms Berg!

- Tim Bazzett, author of the memoir, BOOKLOVER ( )
  TimBazzett | Nov 25, 2018 |
It fulfilled its purpose as a light, pool-side companion. ( )
  abergsman | Mar 20, 2018 |
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To understand is to forgive, even oneself. Alexander Chase
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To Howard Jonathan Berg
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Of course he knew she was seeing someone.
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When is a marriage worth saving and when is it best to let go? When do half-truths turn into full-blown lies? When does betrayal end and passion begin?Say When is a compelling, complex novel that takes readers into the heart of a modern marriage where companionship and intimacy, and denial and pain, so often collide. "Of course he knew she was seeing someone," begins the story of Frank Griffin, a man who's willing to overlook his wife's infidelity--he would let her have this, this thrilling little romance--for the sake of keeping his family intact. But when the forty-year-old Ellen requests a divorce on the basis that she has finally found true, romantic love, Griffin must decide whether to fight or flee...or search elsewhere for the kind of life he always dreamed of.With Elizabeth Berg's trademark blend of rare insight, raw emotion, and hard-won wisdom, Say When is a work of startling revelation that no reader will soon forget.

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